Hurt Before
by Cassandra Flavius
Summary: COMPLETED! He’s an annoying bully, and she works for him. All she wants is to understand why he’s so mean, but somewhere along the line she falls for him… But are her feelings one sided? Read and find out! And don't forget to review!
1. Moving

Hi, Minna! It's been a long time since I wrote my last fan fiction! But here I am, again! Anyway hope you enjoy this one, and please REVIEW!!!!! One this one you'll get both of my passions; Serena and Darien, and the Corrs…how good is that?! Anyway, remember to REVIEW!!!

Disclaimers: don't own Sailor Moon (that belongs to Noako-sama), or Hurt Before (that belongs to The Corrs). I'm aware that some may think that this one is similar to Ai no Manga (great story! go and read it if you haven't), I didn't purposely do it, this one has been hanging in my chemistry notebook since Breathless. But anyway, sorry if you think I'm plagiarising.

**Hurt Before**

**_*Moving*_**

*She's a girl in a world

She's moving as fast as she goes*

Serena Moone (AN: I know I stole this surname for some one, I just can't remember who, but isn't it so fitting??) looked at what used to be her bed room. A cube-shaped piece of space wrapped by four sound pink walls, and a window facing the driveway and front lawn with a huge cherry tree that almost touched the glass. The tree that had many times kept her awake with fear; the tree that even more times helped her escape the house when she was grounded. How she loved her tree! It was the only thing now, apart from the pink walls that reminded her that this had once been her room. The bed, wardrobe, nightstand, shelves, desk, fluffy pillows, teddy bears, mats, pictures, mirror, clocks, and every other furniture that belonged to his piece of space were on the way to another piece of space: He Own Piece of Space.

Finally, Serena closed the door to her old room, and walked down the stairs. She had been helping the moving people carry the boxes in the truck. She picked up the last one— one with some of her stuffed animals, and brought it to the moving man who was inside the truck. 

She didn't go back into the house; instead she headed to the bus station. On the way she reached for her cell phone, calling her best friend Molly. While in the bus, heading to the heart of Baltimore, she though of the big step she was taking; moving to Toronto to work in the headquarters of Diamond and Shields! She had been promoted— well sort of. She moved from Store Manager to take the job of President's Secretary and part time Counsellor for the company's workers in the head office. She wasn't just moving out of her parent's house— she was moving to another country! She would really miss her family and close friends. This meeting with Molly was intended as a good bye coffee. 

Of course, the bust has to be late! She just could not be late for her last real meeting with Molly! She made a dash for it from the bus station to the Hilton Hotel. She wasn't really watching where she was going—and just as it was, she tripped on a tiny stone stuck on the pavement. With her luck, she also managed to bring down another person with her, landing on top of— him (AN: what do you know?)! 

Serena quickly stood up making her apologies, asking if he needed any help, telling his that it was her fault. 

"Of course it's your fault! Next time try seeing where you're going," he growled standing up, smoothing his dark grey suit, "And most important of all: Walk!"

Serena just stood there looking guilty, at the dark haired man frowning at her. No one had ever been so mean to her when she clutzed out before. She pouted like a puppy walking with its tail between its legs. She apologized, so why was he being so mean? She didn't even mean to smash into him.

"Serena!" she heard Molly's voice. 

 "Molly!" she shouted finding her friend by the entrance of the Hotel. She ran to meet her best friend, the frowning man instantly forgotten. 

***************************************************************************

That's it for this chapter! Stay tuned for the next one, real soon!  Review!!!


	2. Mom and Dad

Standard disclaimers apply. Don't forget to review!

**Hurt Before**

**_*Mom and Dad*_**

****

*Loves her mom and her dad

The only secure that she knows*

She had just disposed of her suitcase, and got her boarding pass. She reunited with her parents. It was just her and the two of them. Years before, when it was time for Sammy to leave them, they bore the same expression. Sammy had only moved to Pennsylvania for college—Serena was going to Canada to work! Her mother smiled gently and cupped the daughter's face with her comforting, secure hands. 

"You'll be fine, Sweetheart," she said with tears in her eyes, "Just don't eat too much junk food. I've bought you a copy of The Book of Cooking for Bachelorettes, just be careful when you use the oven! Call me if you need any help."

Serena smiled. She really wanted to laugh at her mother's preoccupations, but it wasn't the time.

"Mom, I'll be fine! I'll buy myself a microwave and pre done dinners." 

Irene pouted a little at her daughter's comment. "You should eat healthily, Honey, we don't want you getting scurvy." 

"Now, young lady, remember, that the world is a jungle, and its inhabitants are beasts! Never trust a man of the world—no matter how nice he seems." 

"Yes, Daddy," she smiled facing him, "I'm the shrink around here!" 

"My little girl is all grown up," he whispered bringing out his handkerchief, and pressing it just under his eyes. "You will succeed, my smart Daddy's Girl." 

"Oh, Dad…" she said flying to her father's neck. Ken welcomed his daughter's embrace. "I'll be fine…" she planted a kiss on his cheek. 

"United Airlines from Baltimore to Toronto via Detroit, now boarding. Passengers please report to gate A14." 

"That's me, folks," she whispered breaking from her father's embrace to hug her mother. She kissed Irene good bye. "Bye Mom and Dad; I'll call you when I get there." 

She took a hold of her small cabin bag and half jogged to the boarding area. She waved at her fearful parents as she handed her ticket to the guards and entered the tax free zone. She quickly walked to her gate, ready to board her plane and go to the place that she'd all home from now on.   

She looked at the seat number. C06, a window seat— how unlucky could she get. She preferred the isle; she sighed and stuck her cabin bag in the baggage hole above the seats. 

Then she looked over to her seat, and suddenly she recognized him, the first stranger ever to be mean to her. She secretly, fearfully observed this handsome man, his jet black hair, with lovely killer-whale blue eyes. Darien Shields was what he introduced himself as later on… He was the coolest of the cool. He looked like a stern man, but, even so, she was feeling a slight tenderness towards him.

"Excuse me, Sir" she muttered politely, yet fearfully. She saw how his eyes slowly traveled from his newspaper to her face.

"Oh, not you again!" Darien commented gravely, letting her into her seat. He remembered her! Serena smiled and gave him a friendly wink, as Darien took a sip of the water on the arm of his chair. 

He had the misfortune of sitting beside her during the whole plane ride to Toronto. He didn't seem too pleased to see her again, and his frown deepened even more when he found out that such a safety hazard was to work for him. 

"I'm Serena Moone!" she exclaimed bubbly and watched Darien choke on his water. 

"You're who— I had a bad feeling about this right from the start," he said gritting his teeth, giving a last cough. 

"What have I done?" she asked sulkily. 

"Apart from knocking me down yesterday?" Darien spoke gravely, as she nodded. "Well, I shall have to put up with you in the headquarters too. Isn't that punishment enough? Then there's the order from Diamond forcing me to help you around for a whole week."

"You don't even know me," Serena uttered feeling her heart sink, "Why are you so mean?"

"A pessimist is never disappointed," was his answer, before reopening his Wall Street Journal, and starting to read it.

Serena opened the magazine she had in her hand and started to read it, ignoring her grouchy colleague. That was the only conversation during the whole flight. To be honest, she didn't really pay attention to what she was reading, as feelings of apprehension overtook her brain. Tomorrow was her first day at work, and already had she made an enemy. This was her first enemy ever! What if everyone would hate her? She felt sick and barely ate anything when the food arrived. She noticed how Darien arched his eyebrow at her when she declined the food offered. The only thing she could to was to turn her head to the window and watch the gray sky with its white clouds. 

Why did he not like her? What was wrong with her? Oh well… their interaction when from bad to worse when they landed in Toronto and Darien was to drive her to her Hotel, where she would be staying until she could move into her apartment.

"Well, I will see you around," she said relieved, as they got out of customs, at that time she didn't understand that Darien what to be kind of like her personal servant for the week. 

"Where do you think you're going?" he questioned with indignation.

"To the hotel," was her calm answer, with her two pools of blue eyeing him with surprise.

"You come with me, young lady," he exclaimed grabbing her hand. "I have strict orders from Damon to escort to the hotel."

Serena groaned out loud with annoyance. "Is this some kind of punishment?" she repeated his words like a puppy.

"You stole the words right from my mouth," he gritted. 

"Hey, you're the one being evil— I don't even know what I did!" she yelled at him calmly. "And if you have decided to hate me because of this escorting thing, I tell you that I'm no girl, I can get along fine by myself!" 

"You look like a girl to me," he yelled back with his stony, non-emotional voice. 

They walked in quiet annoyance to Darien's car, and by the looks of the vehicle Darien wasn't a simple executive at Diamond and Shields. Then, still in silence, Darien drove to the Hilton Hotel. He parked just outside the reception and helped her with her suitcase. 

"I should like to see my apartment tomorrow," Serena told him, curtly when Darien had put the suitcase in the pavement. 

"That can be arranged, but it would have to be after work," he answered frigidly. "I'll pick you up for work tomorrow at eight sharp. I abhor tardiness." 

With that Serena walked into the hotel, as a bell boy had already taken care of her suitcase, without uttering a goodbye. Darien didn't say a word either; he just got in his car and drove away. 

Serena was greatly annoyed at him, but only when he was around her. However, as she lay in her bed at night, she couldn't help but to feel a little softened. There was something about him; a mysterious something that told her that she would give in to dreadful feelings if she did not take care. She wanted to know why he felt that he needed to hide his emotions behind that stern mask, blank eyes, and foul humor.

"serena79" –I hope I didn't make you wait too long… (^_^) Thanks for all the compliments, they really made me blush. 

"LovingMeForever"—hopin' you'll find this chapter a bit longer, it don't really have control over how long the chapters will be, so some will be shorter than others.

Yada, yada… (I really should stop saying that... ^-^), stay tuned for the next chapter! *does "the buddy Christ thing" (don't get it? Watch Dogma! Such a great movie… watched it for like the eleventh time on Sunday. I really should stop advertising things like that *snort*, what can I say? I like commercials!)*


	3. Somebody New

Me not own characters, music, and, it seems, plot too! Life suxs. 

Hurt Before 

**_*Somebody New*_**

*But at night she's alone 

She's dreaming of somebody new*

Serena glanced at her watch; 7:45 it read. She got up and left the breakfast room to go to her bed chamber. There she organized her things in an elegant black leather bag with two straps that hung on her shoulders. She glanced at herself in the mirror. Did she look presentable? 

She wore a peach summer dress with a Chinese collar that went midway between her knees and feet. Her shoes were black, and its heels weren't that high, and she wore no make up or jewellery, except the cross pendant that she got at her confirmation. She had the usual hairstyle, two buns on her head and braids that reached her behind. She looked so romantic—and not at all business-like— but then again, her style reflected her personality; she was a hopeless romantic. 

At eight o'clock sharp her phone rang. It was Darien telling her frigidly that he was waiting for her outside. She felt her annoyance factor rise sharply, but still had the sense to hurry down and not keep him waiting. She figured that he was probably her boss or something, or else why was he forced into escorting her everywhere? She exited the hotel building greeted by a misty breeze, and a grey sky and right in front she saw Darien Shields (looking handsome in his expensive dark blue suit). 

She received a frigid good morning from him as the doorman opened the car door for her, and he stopped leaning on the roof of his shiny moody green Daimler Chrysler. Her answer was a half careless "how-do-you-do". Then she proceeded, entering the car, and then watching the man himself with decided yet smooth actions sit and start up the luxury machine. 

"I assume you're my supervisor?" she half stated blankly, starring at the road. 

"You assumed wrong," was his response, as he too focused on the road ahead. 

"It's good that we got that cleared up," she spoke with some relief, glancing over to his side. "Now I won't have to be civil towards you." 

"I can still get you fired," was his stern, nonchalant, answer that caused Serena to turn to her window and keep quiet for the rest of the ride. 

She felt her stomach turn, as she thought of the day ahead of her. Her fear was that everyone would turn out to be a Darien Shields, and in her mind she was urging herself to be strong and not let anyone get to her. She was there to stay, not to be scared away by what others thought of her. She wouldn't let herself be put down; it was already hard to find work in the U.S. so she had to hold on to this one real hard. 

She was so lost in her thoughts, that before she knew it they were parked in a garage of some sort, and she heard Darien Shields' stern voice yell at her, causing her to start. 

"Quit daydreaming, Girl, and hurry out! I'm not used to coming in late," was what he said. 

Awkwardly, Serena opened her door and was ready to get out, but her seatbelt held her back. Trembling with nervousness, she tried to find the button to un-belt herself, she lowering her head, blinking hard to stop her tears, not daring to speak to preserve her pride and hide her ready to cry voice from him. 

When she was not watching, she missed a smile that made its way to Darien's lips. But on the other hand perhaps it was good that she did not see it, this to spare her from being more confused than she already was, for his smile showed no emotion whatsoever. He calmly watched her as her trembling hands failed to find the buckle. He was observing her. And when he finished with his autopsy he spoke: 

"What? You aren't capable of un-belting yourself?" he commented, as he confidently pressed the button, freeing her. 

"Thank you," she muttered under her breath, and clumsily stepped out of the car. She was in a hurry to get rid her companion. 

Darien, on the other hand, took his time shutting the door and locking it lazily with the keys. He knew that she wanted to be away from him— that the petite nymph was scared of him at the moment. His feelings, however, towards that knowledge were of satisfaction; he wanted her to stay was from him as much a possible. 

Darien was by Serena's side again as the elevator opened its doors. They stepped in quietly, Darien acting like the gentleman, letting the shaken lady enter first. As they were lifted up, Serena had time to compose herself. She stopped shaking, and put on her business face. 

When the doors opened again she was greeted by a party scenery, and three women jumping at her excitedly. Surprised, she had to take a few steps back, bumping into Darien, who skilfully looked away pretending to cough, hiding his smile. Seconds later when Serena could focus she saw the raven headed woman, the brunette, and the blonde that came at her. 

"See, Rei, I told you that it would scare her," the blonde said pouting. 

"That was the point, Bimbo," the raven head answered with a friendly evil expression. 

"Welcome, Serena! I'm Lita Kino," the third one said, taking her arm and dragging her into the elegant office. 

"Pleased to meet you," Serena said glancing around the spacious office, noticing her more mature co-workers. 

At hand she was introduced to the main staff at the headquarters, by Lita, who was a secretary. The pretty, bouncy blonde was Mina Diamond, the accessory designer. Rei Hino-Shields was a long term model for the company, as well as Darien Shields' secretary. There was the shy looking Amy Shields-Mizuno: the IT coordinator, part owner of the company, and sister to the evil man Serena was stuck with. There was the cool, yet civil Amara Tenou, the general staff manager— her boss. Then there was the sweet, calm Michelle Diamond, the firm's head lawyer, she too owned part of the company. Then the reserved Trista Shields, the clothing designer, share holder, sister to Darien. Then the big bosses: Andrew and Damon Diamond. Vice-president and President of Diamond and Shields. They were both very relaxed friendly persons, though Andrew was more cheery and his brother more like a girl magnet. Finally, Lita let her know that Darien was the sale's manager. 

"You have noticed that we have only three secretaries for seven or eight people. This is because most of the work is now computerised, but it doesn't mean that the secretaries have less to do. You will be the presidents' secretary. Rei is your counter part for Darien and Amy, and Lita takes care of the designers. I am my own secretary," Amara explained with her friendly yet commandant voice. 

After all the introductions, and instructions she was finally seated at her desk in the spacious floor lobby, which lead to several other offices. She shared that area with Rei and Lita, the former was a fiery, yet friendly person who enjoyed mocking people, while the latter was calmer and cheery. Serena regained confidence over her job, and was sure that she was bound to have many new friends in her work mates.  

I know this chapter is boring, but I just had to put it in so that it somewhat fits the song. I'm going to be honest here: when I fist wrote this one, it was a one chapter story that was kinda long, so my dear, good friend Beta Reader told me I should develop the story more, and break it into chapters. So my chapters will not be huge, but as we get further into the song they get longer (hehe, I've written up to chapter 7 or 8 by hand… always write my hand, me not trust computers). So that might provide an answer to LovingMeForever. And I gotta give my thanks to Serena79 and DiNji. And say sorrie that I did post anything yesterday, but there no time: party party party, the house was jammed with people celebrating and getting drunk!

I just couldn't resist I had to put in a Chrysler in this story! I was just so charmed by the advertisement that I saw in The Economist… (I was trying to chose between Mercedes and BMW, then there was da Chrysler…). Next Chapter will be posted really soon.


	4. Dream

Don't own any of it, so don't sue! Review please *puppy eyes*…

**Hurt Before**

**_*Dream*_**

****

*Her someone for to hold

She's praying her dream will come true*

The clock stroke a quarter to five. Rei and Lita had gone a quarter of an hour before, but Serena remained there organizing work for the next day. All she really was doing was waiting for Darien to end his meeting with Michelle, as it had been agreed that he was to show her the apartment after work. She watched Michelle go; the latter waved her a friendly goodbye, with a calm, rosy smile, making Serena feel cheery and spontaneous. Five minutes later her heart sunk and skipped in the process, as the handsome Darien Shields exited his office. She quickly put away her papers and followed him to his car. 

They didn't have to drive long to her building; it was only a fifteen minute dose of rudeness that she had to take until her spirits rose at the sight of her new home. She turned into a delighted child when she entered her small apartment; she squealed with happiness at the sight of each room. There was only a kitchenette, living room, balcony, and bedroom, but Serena still found the place incredibly charming, something that greatly annoyed Darien. 

"Oh! Wonderful!" she beamed twirling around the living room, while an irritated Darien watched her from the balcony. "My own place! I've dreamed of this moment for so long!" 

"It's obvious that you're just come out of your mama's perambulator," he commented. "Say, how old are you? Twenty-one, twenty-two?" 

"Twenty-five," she corrected, ignoring his previous remark. 

"Whoa? Have you no shame? You're too old to be telling people how old you really are," the provoked her. 

"I have nothing to worry about, since it seems as if I look younger tat I really am," she told him. 

"Still, you should have been out on your own seven years ago," he punched, and then added, "What a loser." 

Serena didn't answer him, and lost the will to be in her apartment much longer. Thus, she told Darien that she was done looking around, and that he could just drop her off downtown so that she could look around. 

"Drop you off? As much as I'd like to, I promised Damon to follow you around," he spoke, "I hate this promise, but what I detest even more is not keeping promises." 

"Ok, then, You, are going to show me around town," she rephrased. 

"No, no, won't do! I'm just going to drop you at your hotel," he told her as they went out and her closed the door to the apartment and handed her the keys. "Don't lose them now."

"I won't lose them! And I don't want to go to the hotel now, I want to look around!" 

"What do you want to see? You come from Baltimore, compared to that Toronto is nothing."

"I don't care, and frankly I don't trust your opinions," she told him off. "Why don't we check out the Old Town, Little Italy, Chinatown, and Downtown? Then I'll judge what I see, myself." 

"Are you stupid? It's five o'clock! Ever heard of rush hour?" he yelled at her. 

Serena was determined to get her own way, now just to annoy Darien. "Right then, park your car somewhere else, and we'll take the ferry to the islands…whatever they're called."

"Which one of them do you want to go to?" he mocked her; she shrugged and told him that they would go to the one he thought was most interesting.  "Americans," he mumbled loud enough for her to hear. 

"Watch it, I know you're trying to ruin my day," she scolded him, "But I can be stubborn too—" 

"Really?" he pushed coolly. 

"Listen up now," she scowled at him, going to the elevator, "I am a good walker, and if you don't stop annoying me, I'll force you to walk to all the islands," she watched Darien glare at her sternly. "Now, which one are we going to?" she peeped losing her attitude, at times he looked really intimidating. 

"Centre Island," he told her nonchalantly, he realized her that she went back to her place now, and so he went on stating his conditions in his threatening voice. "We'll walk around as you want for exactly one hour. No more. Then we'll go directly to your hotel. And try not to babble unnecessarily, it annoys me greatly." 

Serena just nodded, feeling wobbly. She leaned against the elevator door, and stayed as far away from him as possible in such a small enclosed space. She had never met a severe person in her life, not even her father (and he could be stern at times) could look so stone-like. Serena felt like a little girl, being told off. 

They took the ferry over to Centre Island, and walked around with Serena quietly admiring the beautiful scenery, the Victorian houses. It was Darien that came to decide how they should walk about, and she just followed him around, although she was walking just beside his there was no conversation. 

There were quite a few people out, most of them couples, and seniors taking walks, and while she was admiring the scenery she didn't could help but notice hope pleasantly everyone walked, everyone but them. She sulked inwards. There she was, strolling along in a so romantic part of town, with a guy that seemed to attract the eyes of most female passer bys, and there was not chemistry between them. And since there was nothing between them Serena didn't hesitate to check out the guys.

 "Wow! Canadian guys are so hot!" she exclaimed in an audible low voice, challenging their agreement. 

"You obviously don't have anything intelligent to say, why can't you keep quiet?" he criticized. 

"They're all good-looking , except you, of course," she mumbled, not bothering to answer him, "But then again, you're not human." 

"Watch it," he answered nonchalantly, "I heard that." 

"Good," she snapped, and turned her face from him and went on walking. 

Then the hour was almost up, and they were back at the harbour, waiting for the Ferry. It was half past six on that cooling, beginning of October afternoon. The sun was soon about to set, and Serena, feeling quite a little beat leaned on the rails and glanced at the city on the other side of the water. Darien was standing somewhere behind of her, being as uptight as ever. Serena gasped when she saw the beauty of the skyscrapers and the CN Tower, under the fading sun. 

"Oh, it's beautiful!" she exclaimed in a mesmerized voice like a fairy talking. Several people glanced toward her, smiling, agreeing, sympathising, and or feeling pride. There was magic over that moment, there was a breeze making Serena's hair sway and her dress fluttered a little, as she gracefully turned toward Darien. "Don't you think so?" she asked. 

It might be safe to assume that Darien was equally stunned by the magic as most people who were close by her, but one can never know… Darien just stood there looking scary, with his arms folded in front of him. Serena felt discouraged; she thought that he really didn't want her to talk at all. She lowered her head, slightly disturbed, and turned back to her original position, the magic was all gone. Several people looked at Darien oddly, wondering why he was being such a jerk…

Ha! I think this was really quick! And then there must be a commercial break, this time it's: Toronto!


	5. Help Me

Don't own, so don't sue. 

**Hurt Before**

**_*Help Me*_**

****

*Show me the way

Show me, show me how

Help me be brave for love…*

The week passed and Serena was happily settled at her work. She had started great friendships with the colleagues that were of her age; these included Amy, Rei, Lita, and Mina. Her sunny personality had also caused Amara, Michelle, Andrew, and Damon to warm up to her. Even Trista—, who was seen as rather eccentric, was civil and behind that reserved tone there was respect and love, and something else that lead Serena to feel liked by Trista. She was intrigued by this female Shields, as she more than once had the feeling that there was a deeper meaning in Trista's respect towards her. 

Trista, however was not the only one who interested her, there was the formers brother, Darien Shields. The only person who was unaffected by her personality, who still continued to spit out cutting remarks at her. Remarks which made her believe that she was falling in the abyss of unrequited love. And she could not avoid falling in love with that man. She felt it in the time the few times they had crushed into each other, when Serena got relapses of her clumsiness. There was tension between them, as if angels sang and a master plan was to be announced. Even though he was rude and against her most of the time, there were moments where she would notice that he did feel. Such moments were when he did little things like helping her with her seat belt, letting her pass first, helping her up from the floor when they collided, telling her where the right office was when she got lost. He was a mystery to her and she was eager to reach under that unfeeling mask that he put of for the world. 

Without ever having talked about personal affairs to the older Shields, she came to know that Darien was once married to Rei, that they were married for two years, and that Rei had grown tired of his moodiness, so she packed her bags and left him. She learned of Trista's marriage to Damon, which had also ended, after four years, because Damon was unfaithful. 

Then there were the happy couples; Mina and Andrew who were still so enamoured with each other that they could hardly keep their hands from each other. Amy, too, was married… to a college sweetheart. Rei and Lita were both seeing members of a relatively known alternative rock band. And from what she gathered Amara, Michelle, and Darien were presently single (Damon was dating a supermodel). 

The weekend meant her things would finally be arriving, and that she was finally able to move into her apartment. But it also meant two days with Darien around, which made her heart flutter. Darien was to help her move in; this was his punishment for having scared the last secretary into resigning. Damon, his cousin who had given Darien this task didn't expect him to be so Darienish. The clueless man, expected his cousin to actually be nice to the new secretary— but he was greatly deceived. 

As he had done throughout the week, he picked her up at eight o'clock sharp. This time she had her suitcases with her too, and was dressed in her jeans overall and a tank top. Darien, on the other hand, didn't seem to be dressed for work, in his casual slacks and shirt. They drove to her apartment in silence, and waited for the moving truck to arrive in… silence. The moving men liked her so much that they even helped her carrying the things to the third floor, her apartment. 

The day passed by with Serena and Darien moving things into their rightful places in the apartment, and the only words uttered between them were instructions. By midday, however, they were finished. The bed, wardrobe, and nightstand were in the bedroom. The desk and shelves against the walls of the living room. Pillows, teddy-bears, books and pictures were still unpacked. And the clocks and stereo were on the floor.

"Oh, now that we've finished this," Serena chirped excitedly, "We can go to Ikea and buy some necessary furniture!" 

"Ikea?" Darien repeated disbelievingly, and he saw Serena nod. "I will not be seen in Ikea," he said. 

"Fine, then, Mister! You are dismissed!" she told him walking to the door to put of her shoes. She couldn't believe his arrogance! "I'll take the bus or something there." 

"No you won't," Darien shouted at her, following her, sighing at the horror of spending a perfectly good afternoon at Ikea. 

"Don't you even sigh," she growled at him, forgetting how scary he could become, "Double my pay check and we can go shop at expensive designer boutiques!" 

"You wish," he told her nonchalantly. 

"I don't," she told him, "I'm perfectly fine with Ikea furniture; you are the one with the problem."

Darien spent the whole afternoon following Serena around as she went shopping for chairs, a table, a couch, a coffee table, some more shelves for her books, and kitchen utensils, all of which would be arriving to her place the very next day around noon. Then after Ikea she forced him to pay a visit to the grocery store.

Serena bought food, cleaning chemicals, then, to Darien's embarrassment he followed to the part of the store where males usually try to stay away from. Serena chose, taking her time, among the brands of shampoos, shower gels, lotions, and such. 

"Can't you hurry up?" he asked her pacing around.

"You don't need to stay," Serena answered him, disinterred in his concerns, "You can go if you want." 

"Why do you have to stay here so long? Just grab a shampoo and go, they're all the same in content, it's just the name that differs," he scolded annoyed. 

"Now, let's see, should I buy pads or tampons?" she asked coming up to him shoving both items in front of his face, to annoy him even more. 

"How should I know that?" he yelled, going back a few steps trying to protect himself, blushing (anger or embarrassment not known), his horror written clearly on his face. The first time she could actually see emotion in his eyes, disgust. Serena laughed, putting the tampon box back in the shelf, taking another brand of pads starting to compare prices. She jokingly she continued to torment him, "Libresse or Always, what do you think? Hmmm?"

"You'll be the death of me," he told her, walking away from her, then stopping when he was about five meters away. He saw her drop a package of Always into the shopping bag. "You have no shame!" 

"I don't see any reason to why I should be ashamed," she said, walking away from that scary shelf. 

"I'm a man, you know, male," he explained to her angrily. 

"Funny, you act like a boy to me," she muttered loud enough for him to hear. "But, anyway, your point is?" 

"Keep your female things to yourself," he told her, "and if you ever pull one of those tricks again, you'll be out of a job." 

Serena leaned her head to the left innocently, "Fired because I played a little with my boss's ego, Dad would have a laugh."

"Watch it," he told her sternly. 

With that they finished shopping and drove back to Serena's apartment. He helped her carry the cases up, and put the food in the fridge, as Serena ran around placing things in her bathroom drawer, and in her room. When they finished, it was about six in the evening. Darien leaned against the wall, sighing with relief. 

"This was the worst day in my life," he said out loud. 

"That just shows how spoiled you are," Serena commented stretching her body, "How dare you say that when there are people in the world living in a nightmare everyday starving, or being killed, or infected with HIV?" 

"Sufferings are relative, just because I am not likely to suffer so drastically does not mean that I'm not entitled to have a worst day," he told her gravely. 

"Okay then," she shouted at him annoyed, "Why are you still here, then? You can go!" 

It only took a couple of minutes before he was gone, leaving Serena wondering why Darien hated her so much. A though that remained with her as she ate from the cartons of Chinese food with she ordered just after he left. Well, she knew that her little joke at the store and pissed him off, but to her it seemed that he hated her generally, and she couldn't understand what she had done! Frustrating! Why did she feel as if she needed please everyone anyway? Did she really need everyone to like her? Grrrr.

The next day she started to unpack her mats and books before the new furniture arrived. The Ikea people were really friendly, and even went as far was to carry the boxes, chairs, and couch into her apartment. Then even put the couch in the living room for her. They couldn't stay much longer and she was all alone putting together the tables and shelves, but not for long because the dutiful Darien showed up. His intention was to tell her that his punishment was over, and to blow her off, but as he found her working hard on the floor putting together the kitchen table he felt his conscience urge him to stay. 

So they were together again on Sunday, exchanging commands and irritated remarks at each other, putting together furniture. But when that was dome, and the shelves were all up against the walls, and the big table was in the kitchen, and the coffee table in front of the couch, Darien remained to help her unpack the rest of her books, pictures, fuzzy animals, and pillows, taking every opportunity to tell her that she was girly, a baby, and (although he never said it straight on, he implied) that she was stupid.

She was so used to his way of talking by now, that whatever he criticism he threw at her passed though one ear and went out through the other.  When the apartment finally looked somewhat finished, Serena ventured to speak to him in a friendly tone. 

"I'm making pre-done lasagne heated in the oven instead of a microwave," she chirped going into her kitchenette, "You could eat here if you want." 

"I've never had fabricated food before, so I guess I'll have to try it when I have the chance," he accepted, and Serena put the lasagne in the oven, then while waiting she lay the table, and tested how her stereo worked by putting one some pop station that Darien found very disagreeable to listen to. She switched the radio off when the food was done.

She watched Darien as he took his first bite. 

"This is horrible," he told her gravely, "one might as well feed this to the pigs!"

"It tastes delicious to me," was Serena's comment. 

"Well, I guess you grew up with this sort of food," he said meaning to offend her. 

"At least I was lucky enough to not go hungry," she returned back at him, shrugging. 

This made Darien smirk a little, and conversation ended for that day, for after 'dinner' Darien went away, much to Serena's relief. She was annoyed at him for dissing a perfectly good lasagne… That was the Christian in her talking. 

Nyhahaha…

serena79: *turns into a chibi* Hey again! *bounce, bounce* I only do SandD stories… although I've done one Michiru+Haruka one a long time ago. 

koldy: thanks!

aurora: *looks at you searching* you're not the Aurora that I know, are you? Anyway, Thanks.

Lady Tristana Rouge: here is another freshly baked chapter! Cool name by the way!

TheEvilManatee: thank you! *grin* me likes ur name, it's insanely cute!

SilverAngelFeathers: Wow, thanks for that compliment, you don't know what it means to me.

Fiy-chan: thank you *and here's another cute name that makes me turn into a chibi, just by trying to pronounce it!*

princess serenity: thank you, I will write more, don't worry *pat pat*. *puppy eyes* I can't help that the chapters are so short…sorrie…

Lara1786: hope I didn't leave you waiting for too long.

so, I hope there aren't too many mistakes on this one. I had to beta reader it myself this time, as my sis didn't do a good job with the last chapter, and she's still hang-overy and Darienish (heh, guess how I came up with Darien's personality? ^_^). anyway, commercial break: *I know it's a pathetic idea but, hey, I think it's fun* Ikea! Good Furniture and all! And best of all, it doesn't really hold for long, so it gives you a reason to go shopping for cool new things every season! I hope no one from Ikea is reading this...heh *sweatdrops*. 


	6. What Do You Say

I don't own Sailor Moon, Hurt Before &c &c 

Hurt Before 

**_*What do you say*_**

****

*Show me the way 

Show me, tell me how

What do you say…*

The weeks passed, and so did a month or so, and suddenly the end of November was approaching, along with that there was the General Meeting of the Board of Shareholders of the Diamond and Shields company. It was an important meeting which took place twice every year, where the members discussed how the company did during the six month period, and how the future plans looked like.

Serena was the president's secretary and therefore she was to attend the meeting, as she took care of important papers concerning the budget and economy of the firm. This meeting was bigger than the ones she attended every fortnight or so, as the senior Diamonds would be present too, and she wanted to make a good impression on her employers. 

A few days before, Amara passed by her desk to inform that the meeting would start at eight in the morning, giving her an assuring smile, telling her not to worry about a thing just as long at she had her papers organized. 

The last day before the meeting Serena stayed after hours making sure that everything was in perfect order. It seemed, however that Darien was just as ambitious, and he too stayed overtime. They were the last ones to leave the office (save Trista, she usually stays really late!) and shared the elevator ride down. They reached the ground floor; she was going out as Darien continued down to the garage. 

"See you at eight," she exclaimed cheerfully. 

"At eight?" he asked her gravely raising one eyebrow. 

"Yes, at the General Meeting," she told him bluntly. 

"Oh, that has been moved up to eight-thirty," he corrected her, "Mr. and Mrs. Diamond called this morning saying that they had business to do before arriving here." 

"Oh—" Serena said surprised, as the elevator doors closed. It was one of his subtle nice gestures, she thought, because Darien was still the asshole from a month ago which she managed to somehow find herself in love with.

So, at five to eight sharp, she entered the conference room in order to make things even more perfect, when to her surprise she found it filled with people looking at her annoyed. She jumped back with surprise and frustration and stammered a good morning. 

"Of all days to be late, Miss Moone," Damon rebuked the shocked Serena. 

"I'm truly sorry," she uttered trembling with dissatisfaction over herself and uneasiness as she figured that everyone now say her as incompetent. 

"Now, what might be the cause of this tardy, Ms. Moone?" she heard the dominating Mrs. Diamond ask in a frigid, disapproving tone. Instinctively Serena turned her eyes to Darien, who sat back relaxed enjoying her torture; she glared at his with fury, as if she wanted to rip him apart. "We have been waiting for the meeting to start for twenty-five minutes, now." 

"Perhaps Mr. Shields might want to offer and explanation, Ma'am," she said in her half shaky voice, giving him a death glare, as she proceeded with handing down the papers to the people around the oval table. 

"What could you possibly mean by that?" was his cool, stony response, and Mr. Diamond Sr. eyed her waiting for her to explain.

"I was told by, you, Sir, that the meeting had been moved up a half an hour," she explained, glaring at the criminal, "Why, you wanted me to be late is also a mystery to me." 

"Darien!" Andrew shouted. "Did you just have to choose today to play one of your nasty pranks? How dare you? You know how important this meeting is, and not everyone has all the time in the world." 

"Hey, don't blame me," he said nonchalantly, "It's not my fault that she's so trustworthy, and besides, she's the secretary around here." 

"It's normal for people to trust their coworkers, Mr. Shields," Serena commented. "Perhaps you have an excess of energy which you let out by tormenting lower ranked colleagues. I would advice you to be more mature, and waste your energy on collecting butterflies, or playing golf, so as to preserve the well being of others." 

She heard Michelle trying to repress a chuckle, obviously succeeding miserably. Then she saw how Darien glared at the woman sitting beside him. That scary, mad scientist, Heathcliff look. He turned to Serena with the same expression. 

"Don't give me that shrink talk," he retorted, "I don't need your advice." 

"No, for people like you it takes a while before you realize that you are in desperate need for help!" she snapped back at him, ignoring her fear of him, as she needed to release the ball of fury that he managed to coil up inside of her. She sat on the only unoccupied chair beside Damon, and waited for him to start the meeting. 

Darien was about to answer that, but his older cousin cut him off by saying that it was a shame that he had to go around bullying employees and that if he didn't tone down his behavior he'd be out of his job, making Darien flash one of his stony Mona Lisa smiles, perfectly aware that there was no way Diamond and Shields could afford to discharge him (he was the best).

And so the boring meeting started, with Mr. and Mrs. Diamond having a poor impression of the new secretary slash counselor. But by the end of it the tables turned as no one could possibly be as stiff as Darien; immune to her radiant disposition. 

As for Serena, deep down she was struggling to understand why she was attracted to such an imbecile. She knew that was there was a softer side in him, but obviously, he didn't want her to feel it, so why didn't her heart just give up already? That's where the answer got tricky; she couldn't give up until she knew what he had against her. She could think of nothing she had done that would make him dislike her so (save that incident at the grocery store, but it was just for fun), and when she asked him why he was being so mean he either refused to respond or just said that it was because she existed. But what kind of answer was that? The case was the she hated to be in love with him, but her heart wanted what it wanted. 

Later that day, when she was preparing to go home, Trista called her to her office. Awkwardly, she mentioned that she needed to talk, and Serena, being the counselor and all, seemed like the right person to talk to. Serena was only too happy to stay with Trista, over the weeks she had had many such requests from other co workers, but never had one of her superiors come to her. 

"I've been thinking about what you said to my brother this morning," she started with her eyes on her desk, doodling on a piece of paper. "Perhaps we do need help, and maybe it as you said with me too, that it takes time before we realize it, so I'm asking for your help now, before it's too late." 

"Oh, you didn't have to take it so seriously," Serena soothed, "I said it only because I was hurt and I wanted to hurt him back…" 

"But even so, you are right," she insisted. "The only normal person of us is Amy. She is still happy with her husband and doesn't have the eccentric traits that my brother and I are famous for. I wish I could get back with my ex-husband, you know. Sometimes I want it so much that it hurts…" 

"Tell me, why did you divorce?" Serena asked gently, and noticed that Trista had stopped doodling and was not relaxed with her presence. 

"He was being unfaithful," Trista answered. "I'd like to know why…It could be that I was just a difficult person to deal with— Darien and I have always been difficult." 

"In what way?" 

"We were never good with people. The counselor at high school told our guardians that we were asocial and rude. Amy always managed to gain a friend or two— but not us. People just seemed to annoy us, and we enjoyed being alone, I guess." 

"Why did people annoy you?" 

"They all look so happy. Why must their lives be so good and perfect?" Trista said calmly.

"No one's life is perfect; it can be good, but never perfect. Sometimes people feel down, but they rise again. Now, why don't you think your life is good?" 

"Right now I'm content, I've got Hutaru, but I'd like us three to be a family again. It's not fair for others to be so happy, like Amy for instance. She never missed a family. She was too young to remember our parent's death— they died in a plane crash— so she easily fit in with the Diamonds, who took care of us. We never belonged, Darien and I. I always wanted to belong… I wanted Damon to notice me ever since I was twelve, and ten years later when he asked me to marry him I was the happiest person! I was overjoyed to have my own family— but that didn't last long, it never lasts long! Damon's happier sleeping with twenty-something year olds…" 

"Well, it looks like you're still not over Mr. Diamond. I'm not an expert in relationships, having never been in one, myself," Serena started. "But the lady who lived next door to my family had her husband leave her for a twenty-something year old after almost thirty years of marriage. She cried for over a month… she devoted almost her whole life to him." 

"And he just left her like that? Wow, can you believe how awful men can be?" Trista exclaimed shocked. 

"Midlife crisis can do that to a person," Serena replied dryly. "She didn't leave her room for almost a month, she lay there crying, watching soap operas, and eating chocolate. Then she got angry at him, for making her waste her life for him, for making her get fat, for cheating on her, and for endless of other things, so she started boxing to lose weight and to relieve herself off her anger, and grief. It took nearly two years for her to be normal again, and it normally does take time. In the process she joined a feminist group, burned all of the things that belong to her husband or that reminded her of him. She even destroyed the nice little garden in the front lawn and built a gazebo on it. But now, she's happily dating again.

"I'm not saying you should go to such extremes, but one has to start doing things that one enjoys to do. Think of the things you could never do because you were married and just go for it. Try something new; try something that you wouldn't dare to do. Spend more time with your daughter; get to know her better, instead of working yourself to death. Then, whenever there is a vacation, you could always go away, just to avoid seeing Mr. Diamond…"

"I think I'll start with crying then," Trista smiled weakly with her eyes already starting to water. "It won't be that hard…"

"Yes, and don't worry, it's okay to cry, and feel pain, a person can only get better if she lets it out. Crying is a good way to let it all out."

"Thanks…" Trista whispered before Serena left.

She left only to bump into Darien. 

"You'll never learn to watch where you're going, will you?" he growled at her annoyed, and looked even more irritated when she looked at him with a friendly smile, apologizing. "What are you doing here so late, anyway?" he added nervously, as he felt as if he was being searched. 

"Being a shrink," Serena answered, "I have time for you too." 

"You would like that, wouldn't you?" he told her coolly, "But, I'm not about to satisfy you any time soon." 

"Well, then, have a nice weekend, Mr. Shields," she greeted him and headed home. Headed home to cry over the morning's humiliation, and angrily punch some of the pillows, imagining they were him. Then she'd fall asleep, heartbroken. 

Fiy-chan & kirei*snow*tenshi: Thank you, I'm glad u thought it was funny…

serena79 & Lara1786: Thank you, I'll try go on updating so often! 

Silver Running Water: I've been thinking about what you said, and going over the story I think I know what you mean, but I'm really not sure… so, I'd be a great help if you'd give an example so I can actually see what you mean (only if you have the time, of course), and improve. I've had my sister try to find an example that would illustrate what you mean, and the pointed out the parts where Serena goes suddenly from being scared of Darien to trying to annoy him... and I guess I had a point with it, because as we go along she starts to talk back to him more and more to show that she isn't intimidated by him, but in reality she'll keep wondering what she has done… but I guess I didn't do a job getting my point across *sigh* gomen…

SteelHeartRose *goes super deformed: bounce, bounce* Thanks… now how I came up with this? That was a long time ago, when I was writing Breathless, and I though I'd do one more song/fan fic with my fave song in the album…which is Hurt Before. Heh, then I wrote stuff that vaguely fit with the song in chemistry class (that class is to friggin' boring).

Anyway, I thought I'd talk about Heathcliff… from Wuthering Heights by one of the Brontë sisters (read the book! It's great!)… Don't you just love him? In a weird sadistic way? Although Hareton is much better… he all pretty and sensitive and in love with Catherine.


	7. Pain

I don't own any of it, except maybe the word arrangement.

Fiy-chan: Heh, you are in for a surprise with this short chapter! ^_^! Thank you! 

Lara1786: thank you! you're all very special!

MoonlightUsa: there will be a lethal dose of Fluffiness (I even had to stop writing for a while to regain sanity); just you hang in there…

kirinu: *sigh* you see, I don't think my sis is a nice person either, but I still love her… *looks around repress snort* or something like that! 

Lady Tristana Rouge: I picture you looking like Sailor Pluto, only in regency style clothing… (don't ask… i know I'm insane). 

Keledrena & kirei*snow*tenshi & Namiko-Daughter of Sekhmet: thank you! 

Hurt Before 

**_*Pain*_**

****

*There's a pain in her heart 

She's trying so hard to unwind*

While Trista was on her way out of Grievingsville, Serena was fast entering it. This because after having that conversation with Trista, she understood Darien better, and with that she loved him more. And she let herself fall, knowing that he'd never change, knowing that his cutting remarks would not be changing into I-love-yous anytime soon. Amazingly (and girlishly) she dared to hope that one day they might be together… after all it took Trista ten years(!)… 

That hope was extinguished when one fateful day, when Rei was called into the sewing room to replace a model who had failed to arrive one time for that day. That day, Serena was left to do Rei's work, and Lita, being the secretary of the designers was also busy in the sewing room. That day she received an important letter to Darien, and obviously hurried to his office without any delay. Unfortunately, she forgot to knock, and as she entered his office she witnessed the most shocking scene. 

There was Darien, passionately kissing Michelle. His tie undone, his body bending hungrily on the woman sitting on his desk, hands feeling her attractive legs and chest. She was busy trying to undo his shirt, as the zipper of her dress was already wide open. Such a scene would have cause some people to smile (with embarrassment, but still smile) at the couple ready to jump into action (AN: do you think my sis will ever forgive for this? I think not! But revenge is sweet…), however what Serena saw left her speechless and shocked. 

They were so into each other that they did not notice anyone come into the room. Serena, while trying to quietly leave the room, in a shocked state had a bad relapse of clumsiness that she tripped on the door pane! She fell hard against the door and dropped the letter. 

"OW!" she instinctively shouted, then saw that she had the couple's attention now. "Oh, my—" she uttered, trying to apologize. Michelle was blushing fiercely and Darien was pale with anger. 

"I'm sorry," she said at last, getting up with the letter ready to leave. 

"Sorry? Try learning to knock before you enter," he boomed at her with all the force of his lungs. He was now facing her, starting to re-button his shirt, as Michelle struggled to zip up her dress again. 

Serena just stood there trembling with her hairs standing straight like a porcupine. She couldn't muster any strength to hold back her tears, so she let them fall, feeling like a failure and a loser all over again, clutching the letter to her chest. 

"What are you crying for?" he continued to yell with anger. "Never been with a man before?"

"Darien, calm down," Michelle tried, seeing Serena's defeated face. "You're offending, and scaring her to death, that's why she's crying!" she told him sternly.

With Michelle's words, Serena regained some courage. She would not let him pull her down, she decided. He had no right to shout at her like that, when she was holding such an important letter. She might as well go without giving it to him, but then she could be putting the whole company at stake, she was the one with the power there, not him! So she raised her head to face him again. 

"If you must know," she started to answer in her half shaky voice, she learned that sometimes telling the truth could embarrass people, and this was a perfect case to hurl the truth at him so as to let his know how low he was being by asking such a personal question. "If you must know, Mr. Shields, I have never been with a man before, consider me traumatized after this incident." 

"Some shrink, huh," he muttered grimly, facing away from her, presumably hiding the embarrassment of having asked that question. 

Soundlessly Serena made her way to his desk to leave the letter, then she quickly headed out. 

And so the day passed, and she was about to leave, when Darien came up to her desk. 

"Michelle made me do this, but I guess she's right," he started. "I apologize for my behavior this morning, I had no right to yell at you that way— that letter was vitally important too…"

"No, no, it was my fault," Serena said gathering her things not looking at him, "I should have knocked." 

"You should have," he said as she stood up ready to leave, "But you didn't." 

"I'm sorry," she muttered before going away. Leaving Darien standing there looking at her with his emotionless face, making Mina, who was just leaving the office, wonder what he was thinking, while he followed Serena's movements with those stony eyes.

When Serena got home she collapsed crying. What was she thinking? That scene in his office was burned into her memory, she tried to not think about it, but it kept popping into her head. What was she thinking? What made her believe that a man like Darien would ever notice her unsophisticated self? How naive could she be? She had learned just about everything about him, except that he had a girlfriend. How could she have missed it? Was her vision so distorted by her crush over him that she didn't realize it when she saw Michelle frequently leave with Darien, or how in just about every meeting they sat together, and he even held her hand! She didn't connect the blushing face that Michelle always had when she was around Darien with their being together? She was a fool and a loser!

I officially classify myself as heartless. Since this was a very short chapter, I'm posting there other one today too. Anyway, I'd like to say that Isaac Isimov is such a great writer, I'm usually not found of sci-fi but he really blew me away! I really enjoyed his short story Female Intuition. (heh, I look like a nerd tipping you on all these authors and books… but what is this story without some kind of advertisement?)! Try him!


	8. Blind

The usual disclaimers apply.  
  
Hurt Before  
  
*Blind*  
  
In the next few days Darien avoided any talk with Serena, not that they ever talked as it normally it was just an exchange of critical remarks (on Darien's side) and half good combats (on Serena's side). But, for once, Darien just walked past her as if she was just a regular employee. His ignoring her lead her to realize just how much she liked to be teased by him (AN: masochism at it's best, huh?). Not that she liked what he said, but she liked the special attention he gave her. So the silence between them did not make her sigh with relief but with disappointment, although she made herself believe that it was relief that she was feeling.  
  
At lunch Michelle came around to Serena's desk. Serena fidgeted, and could not bring herself to look at Michelle.  
  
"I have a problem, Serena, and we need to talk," she started. Serena's heart started to race, anxiously. Did Michelle notice anything about her, did she figure out that her feelings for Darien? "I've ordered Chinese, would you mind eating with me?"  
  
"Uh.not at all," Serena muttered, not really grasping the meaning of what Michelle had said, it was just an automatic answer. Awkwardly she followed Michelle to her office. They sat down and Michelle offered her some of her food.  
  
"You won't tell anyone about the things you discuss with your patients, will you?" Michelle started, looking serious.  
  
"No, I'm not allowed to do that. I would never, even if I could, I'd be like having no honor," Serena answered somewhat surprised by such an odd question. She tasted her food to ease some of the tense vibe between them.  
  
"Well then," Michelle said somewhat cheerful, then lowed her voice to merely above a whisper, "About that incident in Darien's office the other day; it wasn't what you think it was."  
  
Oh no! Serena guessed it right. She didn't immediately answer, instead the collected herself and put on the role of a stiff counselor. This was too personal for her, she couldn't just talk about it as she talked about many other's concerns in the friendly comforting buddy sort of way.  
  
"What do you think I think?" she asked choosing her words carefully, so as to not seem affected, but still not losing her gentle tone.  
  
"Well, that Darien and I are hitting it off." she muttered. Then she added looking at Serena with a hopeless face, "I've been meaning to talk to you about us for some time now, but after yesterday I don't know what you will think of me. I mean, he's a very attractive man, and it's hard say no, and not get swept away by him sometimes."  
  
"So, what's the problem?" she asked confused.  
  
"Our relationship has hit the rocks," she told her. "I'm seeing someone else- I don't know what to do."  
  
"You love them both?"  
  
"No. It might sound harsh, but I'm not in love with Darien, I have never been. It's just that for the past half year I've been so confused, and I started dating Darien, but I've come to accept it now. You, see, I like women; and I'm in love with Amara. I thought that if I dated Darien I might come back to my senses, he being so sexy and all. But I just could never get Amara out of my head, and now it's unavoidable because I know that my feelings are returned."  
  
Serena softened. It's was a hard deal to try to fit in. But should she say what she thought? Perhaps Michelle might take her wrongly. But no, she had to be professional here, she had to say what she thought, no matter how Michelle reacted.  
  
"You know, Michelle, I think that you should end it with Darien, if you don't love him."  
  
"I know, but it's hard, you know, I've known him since forever. I don't want to hurt him," she explained. "We grew up together, and if we end it like that we'll never be able to look at each other. Getting involved with Darien was the stupidest thing I've ever done!"  
  
"It's hard," Serena spoke, "but you have to realize that you're not only cheating on Darien, but on Amara, too, and not to mention yourself! You should be aware that you're hurting Amara by being together with Darien. I don't think you should wait too long to end it with Darien; it will be more painful for both of you; you'll feel more guilty and he more cheated. I'm not saying you should dump him quickly. not after such- ahem, that incident, but you should start dropping hints that will make him realize that you two have reached a dead end."  
  
"Oh," Michelle breathed them burst out crying.  
  
Serena reached her hand to comfort Michelle. "Talk to Amara, look inside yourself, try feeling how much time you'd want to have until it's completely over, then just let your feelings flow. There's no such thing as a perfect break up, one way or the other he will get hurt, but he'll get over it. There's not point in staying in a relationship built on guilt."  
  
And there the two women sat until lunchtime was over, the one who wanted him comforting the one who had him. Live couldn't be more ironic!  
  
How quick was that? Anyway, I know I was told not to rush, but I just can't help it when the chibi in me takes over me! Well, now I think I should classify myself as COMPLETELY heartless. How could I just do that to Serena? Man I'm evil!  
  
Speaking of sadism and masochism there's this movie called Secretary, my friend says it's very romantic (all my friends a completely insane, so at least on this one I wouldn't judge romantic by the normal standards). and it got very good reviews, and watching the trailer it looks like an interesting movie, but it's Rated for nudity, mental disorders and what not, so it's really rated. And I always feel as if it's wrong to watch really Rated movies. what a dilemma (hey, I watched Calendar Girls. it can't get more weird that that can it? It can? Noooooo!) 


	9. Break Through

Disclaimers: the usual please! 

Hurt Before 

**_*Break Through*_**

****

*Wants to break thought the fear 

Erasing the scars from within*

When Serena came home that evening she felt unusually satisfied. It wasn't because she knew that Darien would be free again, no, it was because she saw her sweet revenge coming. Darien had hurt her, and now his turn was coming around. At that moment she didn't pity him one bit, not that she ever would, she did not sympathize with his pain either. At that moment Serena decided to move on, even if Darien was to be dumped. She realized that she'd never have a chance with him, so it was better to give up and to find someone who truly liked her, and gave her attention not by criticizing but my cherishing her.

Once Serena decided to move on with her life and stopped dreaming about Darien turning into a real prince charming (that didn't take long after his being so jerky at the General Meeting), she gained a new kind of confidence. Confident as she was, she started to answer more of Darien's remarks (which resumed just a few days after her having talked to Michelle), and more rudely than ever before. 

December had arrived a week before, and with that snow and darkness soon followed. Serena gave up wearing dresses, and tired on some really comfortable black denim with her baby blue sweater, and her white winter jacket.

She rushed into the Diamond and Shields headquarters, running from the cold. As she stepped into the elevator she noticed that she would have to share it with Darien. 

"You're wearing pants today," he noted coolly. 

"What? Do you have any problems with that?" was what she said. 

"No, no, it looks more respectable than those ugly dresses that you usually wear," he told off rather sincerely in his indifferent tone. It was probably meant was a compliment, but what woman— no, what person could accept that as a compliment? Exactly, Serena saw that as an offence. 

"Oh," Serena commented disinterested, facing the elevator doors, "Have you suddenly started to respect me because I'm wearing pants?"

"Respect you?" he questioned raising one of his eyebrows, "What does that have to do with anything? I only said that you look more respectable." 

"I see, not even pants will do then? It's a pity to know that while our society is evolving, you are still stuck in the Dark Ages," she retorted. 

"What are you trying to imply?" he asked, maybe he felt affected for he turned to face her now, making eye contact with those deep sky eyes. "That I do not respect you because you're a woman?"

"Precisely," she snapped as the elevator doors opened and she hurried out, not hearing something he said about not trusting shrinks. He stood there a few seconds longer that usual with a Mona Lisa smile on his lips. 

Perhaps it was the snow that made Serena's heart harden a little, but it was a change of state that her career had been waiting for. Finally, she'd stop taking crap, and realize that she didn't want to do a secretary's job, that her Diamond and Shields couldn't just get way with having her working for two people and giving her a paycheck of one person. Nope, no can do! Her job that to counsel stressed out workers, and she had plenty of those coming to her. So when she finally found that Mr. Diamond was free, she decided to put forth her decision. Like her father said: the world is a jungle and its inhabitants are all beasts. 

"Mr. Diamond," she started after having sat down by his desk, "I came to discuss with you my job." 

"Go ahead, Serena," he said calmly. 

"Well, you hired me as a secretary and part time counselor. I am a psychologist, and I feel as if I should abstain from secretary work and focus on counseling the workers of this company. I have had to cut from my breaks, lunches, and even stay after hours to have sessions, because I do other work during the day. I would therefore like to ask for a position to counsel full time." 

"Counseling full time!" she heard Darien's voice behind her. 

Serena turned toward the intruder. 'Don't you ever learn to knock?' she thought, but did not dare to speak out loud, in case that might ruin her chances of that promotion she was asking for. 

"Yes, Mr. Shields," she said instead, quite firmly. "It's wonderful that you company decided to get a counselor, it would do much good for the people working here, but if I'm going to help then I'll have to work full time. I have more than twenty-five people waiting to have a session with me this week. Fifteen minute chats won't do, I have to get to know the people, write reports… and I get worn out by working overtime almost everyday. 

"Say, Miss Moone," Darien started skeptically, "How do you get worn out by chatting to people?" 

"They chat; I don't," she corrected him looking at those stern opaque blue eyes. "I listen to what my patients say. Listen, meaning that I hear, then process the information, and try to advice then when they ask for it. I try to ask the right questions, to understand them, to make them talk it out, and to make them feel better without giving them false phrases. I have to think about what I say so as not to offend people. It takes a lot of concentration to do this, Mr. Shields; I actually have to remember that other people have feelings because people like you cannot be bothered to care. Or what do you say, Mr. Shields, don't you ever get tired from talking to people on the phone all day? Or writing your emails and reports?"

"Please don't mind Darien," Diamond told her, "I understand your concerns, and will arrange that you get your own working space and make you officially the counselor. I'll talk to Amara tomorrow, and maybe next week you'll be able to move into your new office." 

Lara1786: *sigh* I'm really sorry I made you cry, but I mean give his a break… he's a man, and he was about to get some when that little twit walked in on him and ruined all his plans… of course he was frustrated *kidding* I swear that from chapter 8 on, things can only get better! 

daisy31, serena79, Namiko-Daughter of Sekhmet, aurora:  Thank you! I'm happy that you're still here! Anyway, school starts tomorrow, but I'll keep updating it was often, I'm writing the next to last chapter by hand now so don't worry. 

lizc: *blush* Thank you! although my sis tells me that this cannot be good for my ego. *I'm better than she is!—Hang on there… she doesn't write fan fics… oh yea, oh well* 

nishikaze: yes, aren't The Corrs just great? Although I didn't really like the new songs in their Best of Album… I've read "closer", and I really liked it! It was short and good, and it is very real.  Thanks for the tip! That what I did with this one today, and what I'll do with the next chapter *I typed them in yesterday , so…*  And I'll remember to write Hotaru the right way next time! Thanks, a lot!

Moonlightshadows: ever heard that song "Moonlight Shadow" by Mike Oldfield? Yes, I have it stuck in my head so, the whole day I've been going "carried away by the moon light shadow…"! It's a really sad song thou, I fell in love with it when I head it on the radio a few years ago. 

Anyway, Nope I've decided that I shall not downl—ahem I mean rent Secretary when it comes on DVD, instead I'll be drooling over Matt Damon when I watch Stuck on You. Heh! *drool… poodle* I wuv Matt Damon! 


	10. New

Disclaimer: same procedure as last chapter. 

Hurt Before 

**_*New*_**

****

*Start a new kind of being 

She's down and she's praying again*

"You're getting a new office?" Lita asked excitedly, "Wow!" 

"That's great, Serena, you finally did it," Amy congratulated. 

"Your brother was against such a scheme," Serena commented in a bitter sardonic tone. 

"Well, you know him," Amy smiled, "He's scared that he will himself spending more time than he wishes in you office for different reasons."

"I don't think I could handle him," Serena laughed and did not notice the knowing looks between Amy and Mina, "I'd have to send him off to a specialist!" 

Rei laughed, "If he ever goes into your office, I'll never let him live it down!" 

"Oh, come on! Stop bickering about that piece of stone, we should be celebrating Serena!" Mina exclaimed with her eyes shining like diamonds (AN: heh) while the others groaned and Serena looked at them confused. Obviously she didn't know Mina that well. "I say we go SHOPPING!" 

"You know, if Andrew ever becomes ruined, I will not be the least surprised," Lita commented. 

"Come now, I have a great idea! Let's give Serena a make over!" Mina continued. 

"A make over?" Serena hesitated, but it was too late…

"That IS a great idea!" Rei exclaimed as Lita agreed, and Amy nodded smiling. 

"Now, girls…Girls?" Serena called at Rei and Mina who started to drag her out of the apartment. "What exactly do you have in mind?" she questioned suspiciously. 

"Hey, what *do* we have in mind," Rei stopped, asking Mina with a clueless look.

"Uh-oh," Amy whispered. 

"Okay, okay—" Serena started setting down the boundaries. "No dyeing my hair, no cutting it above mid-back, no plastic surgeries, no botox… let's see— no forcing me to pay for ugly, revealing clothes, or expensive make up, and no making me try any kind of underwear." She had suffered a make over at the end of high school, when Molly felt that they needed to go to the prom, so she was speaking pretty much from experience here. 

"What? You ruled out the hair, clothes and make up? Now, there's nothing left of her make over…" Lita sighed. 

"Don't worry," Mina exclaimed, ever bouncy, how Andrew still had not tired of his wife was a wonder… or perhaps not… "There's still change in hairstyle, highli—" 

"NO highlights!" Serena boomed, Amy laughed, while the others ogled. Sometimes, when she lost her patience she could really sound like Darien. 

"Okay, no highlights," Mina seemed to note, "There's still the spa, massage, manicure, pedicure, and perfumes—" 

"I've found my smell thank you, I don't want to try any others, perfume shops make my head ache," she told them. (AN: and don't they ever? Evil little shops those are!)

"Okay, that too," Mina continued, "Then there's always the unrevealing clothes, the inexpensive make up— hang on, oh yeah, strike the two last ones; I'll pay for the clothes and make up, and of course, my specialty, the accessories." 

"You don't understand," Serena insisted, "I'll never wear it, and it would be a waste of money… It would be better to give the money away to UNICEF or something that's good." 

"Fine, we'll do the make over, then I'll send a sum to UNICEF if it makes you feel better," Mina hushed her. 

"Let's not argue with her," Amy whispered, "I know how you're feeling, but trust me, it's better to not protest on this one." 

So there went the Saturday with the girls; spa, massage, mani and pedicure, hairdresser, make up specialist, and shopping (lethal amounts of clothing, shoes, and accessories, at least according to Serena). Although they were making Serena over, the girls couldn't resist to join the madness themselves, so it was all fun. 

It was mid afternoon when they had finished with all that shopping, and to escape from the darkness they decided to grab something to eat at a coffee shop, so that evil Mina just had to suggest that they should join "Andrew and the guys", as she put it at some Brazilian coffee shop. Everyone was up for it, except Serena. 

"Darien will probably be there," she tried to explain, "And by the way I look now, I'll never be confident enough to answer his insults." 

Her friends ogled at her. She looked fantastic in her navy blue, knee long, classical looking Prada dress, and the knee-high, black, mocha boots, and a cute pale pink cardigan from Ralph Lauren to go with the dress, and her white jacket wasn't ugly either…

"But Serena, you look fabulous," Rei tried. 

"It's not that! You know how it takes a while to feel confident in new clothes?" 

"Huh? I feel extra confident in new clothes," Lita said and Rei and Mina supported her with a "me too" each. 

"Don't worry," said Amy, who was familiar with the feeling. "When my brother sees you, he won't be able to say anything clever— after all, he only but a man…" 

With that the girls convinced her to come along. 

The girls then joined Damon, Darien, and Andrew that the coffee house. Serena made sure to sit as far away from Darien as possible, to prevent him from talking to her. That meant sitting across him, and not being able to avoid noticing how he stared— no, glared at her with his stern face many times, leaving her with an uncomfortable feeling. 

At some point during the meeting the seating arrangement changed, as Rei wanted Serena's seat to talk to Damon, and Serena could not counter the girl's demanding attitude. So, next thing she knew, she was seated beside the devil himself! 

"You're only ordered hot chocolate," he commented frigidly, then he continued sarcastically, "That's right, you're thinking of all the starving children of the world, aren't you?"

"I simply lost my appetite when I saw that I'd be in you company on a perfectly good afternoon," she replied and then added with disgust, "You should be ashamed of yourself for making fun of starving children like that." 

He looked at her with his ever intimidating stone-like face, and she, feeling awkward took a sip of her hot chocolate that was cooling down. She sat there for a long time, away from the encouragement of her friends. 

"Have you lost your tongue?" Darien asked after a while, noticing her withdrawal from conversation. "You were just fine a few moments ago." 

"Oh, that was when I wasn't sitting beside you. The fear of you abusing everything I say keeps me from talking," she told him, making him frown at her, probably with dislike. 

Serena did, however, start to speak again, when Amy urged her to enter the conversation and to her surprise Darien did not make evil remarks. She did notice that he was on the verge of criticizing her many times, but the death looks that Amy and Rei flashed him kept him in his place. 

Darien wasn't lucky enough to avoid seeing her that Saturday. But to his relief she was back to normal on Monday, with the exception of the unusually radiant skin, and the nicely done nails painted in pearly pink polish, and the new hairstyle which left her hair wavy, almost curly (okay, guys, not eighties big hair type of thing, more like fifties perfect curl style) instead of her old straight. That was a big relief to him, although he did not let it show, big relief indeed.

okay, here's another chapter. I've got to finish this story real quick, so that I can really focus on my studies instead on having my brain wandering off to ff.net, it's a really important semester with loads of projects, essays and what not that count for the grade.  So, yeah, there will probably be more the one chapter a day in the near future, or none at all  depending on my homework load *heh, I couldn't be bothered to do my homework over the break so now I have to pay*.

Now, maybe I'm a little late here, but did you hear of Britney's wedding and divorce? That girl's completely out of it! So my advertisement for this chappie goes like this: DON'T BE LIKE BRITNEY; DON'T DRINK (too much) OR TAKE DRUGS (I don't know if I should include cigarettes here… however, cigars aren't included here… don't ask… I just like Cuba, so sue me!).


	11. Show Me

Disclaimers are to me as cheese is to pizza. 

I would like to say Thank you to everyone that reviewed! I can't really comment on all individuals as I really don't have time now that school's started (I'm at the school's comp. lab, if they catch me not doing me work....).  But I'd read them all and thought about them, I'll sorry to be disappointing you with somewhat rushed chapters, and careless language, I'm doing my best to try and keep the story good. 

I am bombarded by homework, and essays and what not; maybe it was a bad idea to start this story so late. But I have to finish it soon; or else my brain will never rest, so well sorry about these bad chapters (when I start something I like to finish it, leaving things hanging stress me a lot). Sorry!

Anyway to Lady Tristiana, here's the chapter there the story takes its turn. After this it all changes…heh! No more bickering and small fights that don't add up to anything! And to people asking for fluff: next chapter for sure! I swear!

Oh and WARNING: for people who hate sappy lovey dovey things, this is the last chapter that is safe to read, from next chapter on it's all pink, or at least pinkish!

**Hurt**** Before**

**_*Show Me*_**

*Show me the way, 

Show me, show me how

Help me be brave for love*

Ever since her first day at work Damon had recognized that Serena was a beautiful girl. Yes, girl, not woman as she was full of innocence and child-like carefree attitude, without any determination. Because of the traits above, he never actually paid any attention to her, but she did catch his interest when she talked back to Darien at the November Conference. However, it was only when she came to him requesting her so to called promotion that he started to form serious designs (don't get me wrong, Damon Diamond was never serious about women, he was only serious about enjoying himself with them). Not to mention that he was practically blown away when he saw her that Saturday…now he sat in his office forming a plan on how to get her, and he knew that to do! 

"Why not start with some counseling?" he said to himself, as Darien came into his office. 

"Now, what are you planning, Damon?" Darien asked him. He knew his cousin's ways with women. "She's not your type," he assured blankly and sternly.

"What are you insinuating?" Damon replied, throwing his partner an amused glance. "As the president of the company, I have to know if she's doing a good job." 

"You don't have the qualifications to judge that," the moody man remarked. 

"Are you defending her, dear cousin?" the other pressed raising one of his eyebrows. 

"No," Darien said calmly, and nonchalantly as ever, "I just mean that with the exception of Trista and me (who know that you are nothing but a piece of scum) every one looks up to you…" 

Darien heard his cousin laugh at little. "Yes, Hutaru told me that Trista has taken up boxing, and in her practice room she has a practice sack with my picture glued to it." 

"Oh, not only that, but I have the satisfaction of telling you that she's shooting at you too. She's got the bullet to go right between the eyes too! That's achievement for you," Darien informed, enjoying the faint wince his cousin made. Then his tone went all serious again, "I don't like you, but let me give you a good piece of advice. Stay away from that one, if you want to keep your good reputation in this firm. She probably knows what you are; she's a psychologist for heaven's sake! Her job is to read people." 

"You're jealous," Damon told him, standing up, ready for his session. 

"And you are an idiot," Darien declared him leaving some papers on Damon's desk. "I will not pity you when you go down. She may instigate crazy fantasies in your head, but just look at her; she's innocent and pure— I'm telling you, she doesn't need a dirty man like you." 

Damon was now walking around his desk toward the door, he turned to Darien and spoke, "And you think you're any better?" he asked amused. 

That question caused the other man to shrug carelessly, without any emotion. "I'm not after her, so it doesn't matter. But I'm telling you this, next time you try to talk another employee into resigning, don't manipulate her into saying that my intimidating ways were the reason. I'm sick of playing the role of the devil around here." 

As he said this, his cousin left his office. He was sure Damon his not hear him, and honestly, he didn't care. He didn't really care what Damon did to that girl, he was just warning Damon to have the pleasure of mocking him when the time came. Over the years he had seen a lot of shrinks, he knew them— which was why he stayed away from her— they weren't stupid. 

Serena was surprised to see Damon enter her office wanting to talk. She braced herself for another shocking story. From what she heard of him, it seemed as if he had problems with his girlfriends, or rather the girl that he was with at the moment, but one could never know…

"Just call me Damon," he started seductively, but she didn't catch his ball, she just nodded clasped her hands and waited for him to start. "Well, I don't really know— I figured you'd know— I mean there are so many things…" 

"I know it can be hard to start sometimes," she smiled, speaking slowly and soothingly, "But take a few minutes to think about what to want to talk about, and then just start where it feels natural." 

Damon grinned at her charmingly, she was beautiful, but he wanted her to lose that friendly, innocent thing. He wanted her to be bad… real bad! 

"Well, I broke up with Melissa some time ago," he came up this something at last. 

"Oh, I'm sorry… it must be hard," she commented gently. 

"I'm not sorry, we only dated for a week or so," Damon said. 

"A week? That's short, why did it end?" 

"The fire burn out, I guess," he answered. 

They went on talking about the women he had been with and why he did not stay with them. They did not touch the subject of Trista, though. From what Serena gathered, Damon had a real problem with commitment. Perhaps he wanted to prove to himself that he could get any woman he wanted. This was a typical problem for men (and women) in his situation of life (rich, powerful, good looking, etc), but it was funny how he always avoided the subject of a family… or rather, his family— his daughter and ex-wife. 

They talked for some time, and Damon had to eventually return to work, so there he took the opportunity of asking her on a date. 

"I have to continue working," he ended their conversation, "But I'm like to go on this some time soon." he saw Serena nod understandingly— it irritated him that she never took of that therapist role. "But I'm very busy during working hours, as you know, so I am wondering if we could talk on over some dinner… say on Friday night?" 

"That's fine with me," Serena agreed, not really aware that Damon had just trapped her into going with him on a date. That thought would only enter her head later in the week, making her feel slightly guilty.

Somehow, Serena felt relief after he left. She wasn't conscious of it, but he did sigh and drink up the full glass of water that was on her desk. She did detect the complex tension between them, as if he wanted to convey something that she couldn't decode. Subconsciously, however, she didn't want to decode it. 

On Friday, Damon took Serena to a very expensive, romantic, Italian restaurant. Observing all this actions towards her on their way to the restaurant— how he took great pains to find situations to touch her, or the way he talked to her, and she subject he chose (ahem), and above all, how he looked at her: as if she was a piece of meat! — She understood that he was trying to seduce her. Serena had hypothesized this earlier in the day, but now she was pretty sure of his intentions, needless to say she was frightened! For a moment she preferred Darien's rough and truly evil ways infinitely compared to the man who had seduction down to an art. She figured that she was his latest conquest, and knowing this she felt all respect that she held for him sink. 

They had chosen their meals, and the wine had arrived. Serena couldn't risk losing any control; or else he might capture her, so she politely declined all alcoholic beverages. 

"So," Damon spoke," let's talk a little about you…" 

"No," Serena stopped him firmly, making him startle; "We're here to talk about you. I've decided that tonight we should talk about your ex-wife." 

As she said this, she saw Damon stiffen. "I'd rather not," he refused. 

"Why not?" she pressed with a rather annoyed tone. 

"Because it's none of your business." 

Serena rolled her eyes. "You made it my business when you came asking for a session, now you have a session, so talk! Or are you going to make me waste a perfectly good evening?" 

"You sound like Darien now," he commented. 

Serena smiled a little— yes, short temper and stubbornness were some of the few things they had in common. 

"I'm on to you, Damon," she let him know with a freezing voice, "So now you better talk and be honest, or else you won't find me in your bed any time soon." She could also play dirty, she thought. Not that she was planning on sleeping with him— he was sexy and all, but his character was dishonest and that wasn't much of a turn on— but she was interested to know why he never talked about Trista, for professional interest, of course. 

Damon looked at her startled. Darien was right when he said that she'd be able to see right through him. But she didn't reject me, he noted, which means that she wants me too. 

"Okay," he started slowly, "What do you want to know about her?" 

"Why did you divorce?"

"Because Trista couldn't forgive me for making a mistake: I had a mistress… but it wasn't for long…" 

"Why did you get a mistress? You were married." 

"I don't know, I guess I just wanted to see what her reaction would be." 

"Her reaction? Couldn't you just buy her gifts or something a little more pleasant?" 

"I tried all that. You know, no matter what I did, I couldn't seem to make her happy. I mean she'd smile and so, but she never went crazy! I don't think she ever loved me. You don't know how hard it is to love a woman who is never happy."

"And you never talked it over?"

"No… what was there to talk about?" 

"So you just ran into the arms of another because she wasn't praising you like a god?" 

"It's not like that— I wish she could have kissed me when she came home, or just come home a little earlier, I wanted her to tell me that she loved me more often… you know the little things." 

"You could always ask," Serena defended Trista. She knew how much Trista loved that piece of garbage. "You could go; "Honey, I miss your kisses" or "It's been a long time since you last said that you loved me". Or you could go making deals: like you could do the dishes for a hug or whatever." 

"I guess I could've done that, but I didn't! That never entered my head," he told her. Then he leaned back on his chair and continued to talk. "How I admired her! I loved her like a madman, and then she just goes and files for divorce. She didn't even hear me out! 

"It hurt, you know. I'd wake up in the morning and think that she was still sleeping, then I'd turn over and find the bed empty— then I'd remember that she wasn't my wife anymore. Without her I felt empty, and lost, so I thought I'd be over her if I dated another woman. And it worked… at least for some time, but then now and again I wake up with her on my mind. I realize that the person in my bed isn't her, and then I feel as if I'm cheating. I break up and promise never to sleep with anyone again, and I'm back to square one. It never ends; it's like she's a ghost, haunting me." 

"She isn't a ghost," Serena corrected him, "because she's not dead." 

"I know that, but we're over, so she's as good as dead," he said unhappily. "Hotaru told me about how much she hates me— she has a picture of me on her boxing sack. Darien tells me that my picture is also glued to her shooting target— she shoots as a hobby— and that she had become so good that she was shoot me between the eyes. That's not only telling me that it's over for good, but it's scary too. She hates me so much that she's taking Hotaru to the Alps over Christmas instead of spending it at my parents' house, as we always did." 

"Maybe, instead of seducing innocent people," Serena remarked, "You can try to seduce her back to you." 

"No way, she wouldn't fall for it—" then he checked himself: "I mean, I'm totally over her." 

"I don't think so, Stud Boy," she played, and watched his eyes go dark with desire. That scared her, it made her brain shiver with alarm, so she added a bit shaky, "I don't sleep with men on the first date, and today was just a session, so don't go wishing too much." 

The next week she tried to avoid Damon as much as possible, as she saw that when they met he'd shoot her glances that suggested that they had a common understanding of some sort. She especially avoided being in the presence of both Trista and Damon at the same time. But that didn't discourage him at all; he even had the audacity to come to her office trying to get a date out of her. She had to invent excuses for the whole week, and was relieved when she told him that she'd be going home for Christmas and New Year. So he decided that their next date would be when they returned from the holidays. Serena let that slide, thinking that she would deal with it when she got back. 

Heeee! What do you think is going to happen next? What do you think? Is Darien jealous, as Damon suggested? *smirk* none of my pathetic advertising this time, aren't you happy?!  


	12. Tell Me

Disclaimers: Same old story here. *Acts like a waiter:* fluff anyone?  
  
Hurt Before  
  
*Tell Me*  
  
*Show me the way Show me tell me how What do you say?*  
  
Christmas spirit had really got to Serena. It was a Tuesday on the eve of Christmas Eve, and she was in high spirits, happy to be on the taxi that was driving her to the airport, where she'd catch a plane home.  
  
It seemed, however, that she wasn't the only one eager to get to the airport. In fact, the main highway was jammed, so her driver was nice enough to make a detour through a less known route. There were almost no cars in the small, snow covered road, and there were beautiful pine tress on both sides of the road. They had to drive slowly and carefully, so as to not get into a nasty accident.  
  
Going so slowly, Serena saw a dark green car outside the road. They could only see about thirty yards ahead, so she couldn't make the scene out at first, but as they got closer she noticed that is was a Chrysler just like Darien's car and that it had smashed against a tree (AN: it hurt to have to destroy such a beautiful car!).  
  
"Stop! Please, stop the car," she shouted with alarm, and the driver did as he was told. She quickly ran out, ignoring the mounts of snow, towards the accident scene. The airbag was blown out, she noticed, when she was near enough to see. She opened the door to the front seat and there was Darien unconscious, with a bit of blood coming from his nose, fallen against the airbag. Her heart leapt up to her throat and sank heavily down again. His face was white, and his lips almost purple.  
  
"Oh, my God! He's hurt!" she told herself not knowing what to do. "He's hurt! Please call 911!" she called to the driver, who was coming check on the accident.  
  
It didn't take long before an ambulance arrived, and they took Darien in, covered with thick woolen blankets. Serena, then, told the taxi driver to go to the hospital, and forget the airport. Once there, she proceeded with calling her family telling them what happened, and that it wasn't likely that she would catch her plane that day. She waited for hours to hear anything of Darien, and in the meanwhile she tried to reach his family and friends. Amy, her husband, Mina, Andrew, and Damon had flown to Quebec the day before to visit the senior Diamonds. Lita and Rei had also gone away with their boyfriends the day before- London to be precise. The only ones left were Michelle and Amara, so she called them, but no one answered, they didn't even have answering machines!  
  
To her relief a doctor finally showed up to talk to her.  
  
"It was nothing serious, although I must say that if you hadn't found him, he might have died of hyperthermia. We figured that he's been there since late morning, that's four hours out in the cold without any winter gear. But moving on, he has two of his lower ribs dislocated by the impact of the airbag, but other than that he's fine," the doctor explained.  
  
"Oh, I'm glad," she breathed with relief. "Can I see him?"  
  
"He's a very difficult young man," the doctor smiled, "Won't go to sleep before he sees you. Come, I'll take you to his room."  
  
"Hi," she smiled going over to his bedside. "How are you doing?" she continued touching his hand, knowing that he's finch it away as soon as she touched him, which he did, as expected.  
  
"I apologize for making you lose your plane. And thank you for-" he paused, then continued rather unwillingly, "saving my life."  
  
Serena smiled as a warm feeling washed over her body. To her utter surprise she felt Darien take a hold of her hand that had lingered on him bed. He held it with both hands; she watched as he slowly brought it to her lips and softly, gently kissed it. Then Serena felt shivers down her spine all over again.  
  
"Now, could you get me out of here? I abhor hospitals!" he begged her firmly.  
  
"But, Mr. Shields! No one is here to take care of you; I tried calling Michelle but it seems that she's not at home."  
  
"She's on her way to Australia with Amara," he tried to say it with nonchalance, but the bitterness couldn't possibly be hidden.  
  
"Oh," Serena nodded. "That isn't very nice of her."  
  
"You don't say," he told her sarcastically. The first time she heard him speak in a tone that was not stern, nonchalant, mocking, or yelling with anger.  
  
"See, now you'll have to-"  
  
"No! Get me out! I'll stay home alone, I don't care! Just get me out of here before I kill one of the doctors," he told her with utter alarm. It had to do with his parent's death, this fear of hospitals, she thought.  
  
"All right, I'll ask the doctor when you can leave."  
  
"Don't you understand-" he yelled, and the doctor came in, wondering what the commotion was.  
  
Serena smiled at the doctor and kindly asked when Darien could leave, while Darien tried to get his point across by telling (yelling) that he wanted to go home as soon as possible.  
  
The doctor eyed them, and shook his head at the man in the bed. Then he said: "Oh, he can go tomorrow, if he wants. We need the beds any way; you two are the early ones to get into accidents this holiday. But he needs someone to take care of him, he might be able to yell like that, but he can't move around much as his ribs have to heal. He has to be constantly warm for some time too. All in all he should keep to his bed for around a week or so."  
  
Darien groaned giving up. There was no way Serena was going to let his go now, he thought.  
  
"Okay then," she said calmly, then turned to Darien, "You'll go home tomorrow; I'll stay with you."  
  
Darien stared at her with disbelief, then he realized that she was serious. He opened his mouth to tell her that she didn't have to, but she quickly cut him off:  
  
"Don't you even think of complaining, Mister! This is a huge favor I'm doing," she told him off, and Darien shut his mouth.  
  
Momentarily, of course, for he opened it again. "It's okay, I can endure if they tie me up," he joked (AN: I can't believe myself! Darien joking? What is the world coming to?), "You can go, if you want. I mean your family is expecting you."  
  
"It's not a problem," she beamed, "They'll understand. Besides, I've been with them every Christmas for twenty four years now, missing one wouldn't hurt."  
  
The next day at around mid morning Darien was settled in his bed, and was Serena looking around his apartment. It was so impersonal and cold. No pictures, nothing lively or even half cute, it was deathly clean, and worst of all no Christmas decorations! She commented that to him, and he answered something about there not being a point since he was going to spend Christmas in Quebec. She returned by saying that she was going way too, but she had decorated her apartment anyway, he told her that she was too sentimental.  
  
Then Serena went to buy groceries to make them a kind of special Christmas dinner. On the way to the store, she saw the perfect present for him, and didn't hesitate to enter the shop and buy it.  
  
When she returned, she made him hot chocolate, and walked to his room humming. She beamed at him when she entered, while he just glared at her sternly as always.  
  
"You like to see me suffer, don't you?" he posed this question rhetorically, as he struggled to sit up. Serena put the drink on the night stand and helped him sit, putting pillows behind him for extra support.  
  
"I can't say I dislike it," she admitted sincerely.  
  
Then Darien went off complaining, telling her that he preferred coffee to chocolate, that she should have asked what he wanted to drink, etc. She just rolled her eyes to the roof with impatience.  
  
"I don't know how Michelle could put up with you!" she uttered sighing.  
  
"She couldn't, that's why she left," he told her angrily.  
  
"Yeah, I have to admit that it wasn't the best timing," she thought, rather louder that she wished, "But then again, not making it official with Amara was killing her."  
  
Darien stared with astonishment. He put the cup on the nightstand and blinked a few times, processing the information.  
  
"You knew about her and Amara?" he bellowed so that the whole apartment shook. Serena trembled. "You knew about them?" he pushed.  
  
"Y-yes. Michelle came to me to talk about it." she said weakly, sitting by the edge of him bed so as not to fall, hoping that he wouldn't strangle her or something.  
  
Darien just passed a hand through his messy, ebony hair, then muttered clearly distressed; "You knew about them all along. why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"First of all, I'm under professional secrecy, meaning that I'm not entitled to discuss anything about my patient's problem unless told by them to do so. Secondly, you would've never believed me. And I guess thirdly, because I wanted a little revenge for your ill treatment of me."  
  
His eyes looked as if he was bowled over by what she said last. "You got your revenge, alright," he said coldly. "Are you happy now?"  
  
Serene looked serious, it was obvious that he was hurt by her words, and she felt guilty, but how many times had he not hurt her? She didn't want to deny what she knew was the truth.  
  
"Yes," she said at last, seeing how he was taken aback by her answer, then she added, "Although I must admit that hyperthermia and dislocated ribs were a deal harsher than I ever imagined."  
  
"That's bonus for you," he remarked sarcastically, "How exactly did you want your revenge on me?"  
  
"I wanted you to be so hurt that the mask that you put for the world would shatter, and I wanted to be there so see it break!"  
  
"Do you think Michelle succeeded?" he questioned nonchalantly.  
  
"No," Serena smiled snugly, "at least not yet. but you physical pain makes up for it."  
  
"So now we're even?" he asked with a faint smile on hip lips.  
  
"No."  
  
"What more do you want from me? Fall off this building?" he blurt out annoyed.  
  
"All I ever wanted to know is why you hate me." she revealed looking at her lap, and away from his face.  
  
Darien stretched his hand to her chin, and forced her head to turn to him. Then she saw how his face softened. He bore a gentle expression although he didn't smile- and looked handsomer than ever and Serena had to remember to breathe.  
  
"Because you-" he attempted to explain. He restarted: "I don't want you setting my weaknesses on display for the whole world to see. Why can't you be like the others? Why don't you accept me as others do? I hate the way your eyes look at me, always trying to undress me, undress my soul, and of course, I have to fight not to stand naked. You want to see through me and I don't want to you to. That's why I stay away from you, or make you want to be away from me. a man has to defend himself!"  
  
Serena gave him a little smile, "But now you're undressing," she half whispered. She was so amazed by him that she couldn't resist to run a finger down his cheek. "You don't have to be scared, I won't tell a soul. Besides, I like what I see." her finger had reached his chin now.  
  
Darien could decide if it was her worlds that touched him or just pure desire, as she sat by him bedside looking like a salvation angel; on an impulse he grabbed her and pulled her to him, making his lips lock with hers. He did not feel the pain in his stomach as her body came in contact with his chest. It was a passionate kiss, which Serena had no power in rejecting. He wanted to kiss her breathless- and he almost did! Finally, he broke away, letting her gasp for air. As he caressed her cheeks, there was a real, genuine smile on his face that reached up to his eyes. What he was feeling was still unclear, but she hoped it was satisfaction.  
  
"I guess I'm naked now," he whispered as she withdrew form him.  
  
"I guess." she said in between breaths. She blushed fiercely, not knowing what to say. She stood up and took the cup of chocolate from the nightstand, and went out of the room. She had to get away, she had to clear her head and collect her mind that was shattered by his earth quaking kiss. As she stood by the door she turned to him and said rickety, blushing, still half stupefied, "I don't know why you did that, but I won't ask."  
  
Darien continued with his amazingly fulfilled face. was he the only one who heard angles sing while they kissed- as if a master plan was to be announced? He didn't think so. but he also knew that Serena was not really ready for this sort of affair, at least not with him. And when he thought about it a bit deeper he came to realize that he shouldn't be ready for it either.  
  
Right, right! Weekend! I'm so dead on Monday! Anyway, here's another chapter, hopefully I'll be able to finish this story soon. Thank you all for the reviews! Anyway, for all of you wondering about Damon. Heh! *smiles* we'll see what I'll do to him, or rather, what he'll do to her. oh whichever. ja ne, for now. 


	13. Unlocking the Door

Diclaimers: don't own, don't sue. 

So, here's another chapter... finally! 

serena79: sorry it wasn't so soon… I had a philosophy essay to write… heh! That mumbo jumbo is good for class discussions but to do an essay on it is just too far fetched for me!

Princess of Enchantment: the plan is to take the story to the end… I think… meh

daisy31:  oi, I guess you had to kinda… er.. um.. wait… I put the blame wholly, and solely on school!

mimi: here's a fresh chapter. 

sally: Thank you, I'll try my best to, er, "keep it up". 

aurora: the poor guy is just confused, for all I know he could turn out to be gay… you never know ;)

dayfreshie: here's another update! yay?

Fiy-chan: *the fairy!!!* Thank you!

Lady Trista Rogue: Thank you milady. 

Selphie: Darien soften? *laughs manically* Damon falling off a cliff? *clutches stomach* We'll see…

**Hurt Before**

**_*Unlocking the Door*_**

*You see she's 

Turning the key, unlocking the door

Embracing the roller coaster world 

Stepping outside, body and soul 

Taking whatever future holds*

Serena walked to his kitchen confused. She really enjoyed his kiss— no wonder Michelle had a hard time letting go— but she didn't want her feelings for him back. She decided that such a kiss could not reawaken her feelings from him. It was a meaningless kiss, it happened by mistake, because he was too overwhelmed, weary, and baffled. Nothing more! 

She then remembered that Darien still had not called his family. So she took the phone to him. 

"I think you should call your family," she told him, coming in, moments later with the cordless phone. "They should be worried about you." 

"If they were, they would have called earlier," he said involuntarily taking the phone which Serena handed him, "but I guess I'll call them, now that you're here with the phone." 

He dialled a number, and didn't wait long until he was speaking. 

"Oh, hi Amy," he greeted, then waited, then answered: "I'm fine. I should have called earlier, I know… Explanation?... Well, Michelle and I just broke up, and I got into a tiny accident so I missed the plane… Don't worry, I'm fine. It was nothing… No! Don't come, I want to be alone… Listen, I need to be alone… Good, I'll miss you… Tell everyone Merry Christmas for me… Bye." 

"What was that all about?" was Serena's first question when he threw the phone away from him of the bed. 

"What?" he asked passing a hand through his messy hair. 

"You're not fine, Darien," it was her first time to say his name in front of him. He gave her a surprised glance, but had to admit that he liked hearing her say it. "And you're not alone," she ended frowning. 

She couldn't believe he told Amy not to come! Now there was no chance of her going home! She couldn't believe him! What did he want to do? Kill her over the vacation? Selfish, obnoxious, little— 

"Look, if I told then the truth they'd be here in no time," he answered. 

"Of course! That wasn't that the point?" she nagged. 

"I'm aware that you want to leave, but you committed yourself to take care of me," he told her, "If I told them that you were here, they'd be running to come… They'd never stop asking questions, or forcing me to do Christmassy things, leaving the house in frenzy. Right now, I don't feel as if I could handle them. I don't want to be bothered, I need to think… so I'd rather be with you— you don't ask too many questions, or bring up childhood memories," he said, muttering the compliment. Serena sweat-dropped, she didn't ask too many questions he said? Heh.

"And has it occurred to you that I might not want to be tormented by you for the whole week?" she questioned him annoyed at his way of thinking. The selfishness! That man really did not care about others! He knows that they don't have good relations, so why pour out his misery to her too?

"It has," he nodded sinking into a laying position, "So I'll try to be nice. It wouldn't hurt getting you know you, either." 

Serena was flattered; she couldn't hide her delightful smile. So he wasn't planning on tormenting her all holidays… "Fine then, I'll call my parents and tell them that I won't be coming home." 

"You are home," Darien corrected, and she looked at him awkwardly, so he felt that he needed to explain his train of thought. "Only children think that their parents' house is their home. For adults, like you, home should be where you made your life. Now, you work here and are likely to stay here for some time, so your home is here… in Toronto." 

"That might be logical, but to me home is where I have my heart," she told him, "And my heart is in Baltimore." 

"Then I suggest that you bring it here because by the way you're going, you are not likely to live there again," he commented with his usual aloofness. 

"How do you know that? What makes you think I won't go back to open my practice there?"

"Don't be stupid, your clients are here, when you decide to open your own shrinking place— God forbid— you'll open it where people know you, obviously." 

"You're the business man around here, so I guess you're right," she sighed, frowning at the way he stated the facts for her. Then she joked, "I should have looked for a job in Mexico, where the weather's a little warmer!" 

Darien rolled his eyes. "You're here now…" he said, almost lightly. 

She called her parents, and talked for a long time. She left Darien's room when she saw that he was beginning to be annoyed, and continued to talk to her mother until around sixty minutes were up. She came back to him laughing and bouncy; he just stared at her with surprise. 

"So it's almost Christmas, you have no tree, your house looks like a minimalist museum, I don't know what to do," she spoke. 

"Well, we could talk— or not. There are books; you could read. There's a TV, you could listen to music just as long as you don't disrupt my organization. You could take a walk— you don't have to stay inside all the time, you know," he suggested. 

Serena groaned and muttered that he was boring indeed. 

"So what would you do, if you were in Baltimore?"

"Well, help my mom cooking, decorate the Christmas tree, go out with Molly to buy last minute presents, pester my brother, go around singing carols with the neighbourhood kinds, and talk to my dad…" she counted dreamily. 

"Well, you can talk to me," he noted, causing Serena to laugh. Darien was stunned; it was not often that people laughed around him, let alone at him! So, he just ogled at the amazed, watching Serena act all beautiful and merry. 

"Talk to you? Impossible! We've never talked before: you just mocked me, and I answered what makes you think we can talk now?" 

"We are talking," he observed, causing Serena to abruptly stop laughing and look around. That was a strange behaviour, according to Darien. 

"You're right we are!" she exclaimed at last. "This must signify that the apocalypse is nearing… do you hear the four horse riders? Hide!" 

"So, you have a brother?" he asked, ignoring her immature statement. 

Serena glared at him, blinking a couple of times, and then she shrugged and answered: 

"A younger one; he's a cute little pest! He's studying economics in Pennsylvania and wants to be a college professor just like dad! Ha!" she told him. 

"You don't think he will?" Darien pushed, smiling at her cute face. 

"That dummy?" she said impulsively (AN: for all of you with siblings, this should feel familiar to you), then she thought about it for a moment, "Oh, yeah… he's always been excellent at school, so I guess he has a chance." 

They talked about each other's families, and much to Darien's surprise he found himself telling her about his parents, and his childhood memories. He felt like she understood him, and she did. She knew that he didn't need her to pity him; she found out that once he was just a happy child like everyone else. And time pissed quickly; as evening approached Serena felt that she should make dinner. 

"How does homemade pizza sound on a Christmas Eve?" she suggested as it was one of the only foods she could cook really well, "It will be square and all, but it's yummy." 

"We're talking your idea of yummy, here," he commented. 

"Hey! Fine then, if you're going to be evil you won't get to have a say in the matter. I'm going to make pizza and you'll have to eat it!" 

"Spoken like a true communist," he mocked, as she was leaving. Before going out the door, Serena stuck her tongue at him. 

Darien's head was full of Serena. She entertained him so well that he found himself smiling a few times. Even when she was not there, he was still smiling. She wasn't really that bad, he concluded to himself, as he found himself feeling friendly towards her. He knew that she was worth befriending when he noticed how she seemed so happy all the time: helping him— someone who she really should hate— without rubbing it in his face all the time. She was a kind hearted person, and he felt that he could depend on her. With what thought he saw all the months of fighting her go down the drain! He knew that this would have happened if he wasn't careful. But as he lay there in his bed, with his stomach aching like hell, unable to move, he found that depending on her wasn't so bad, after all, because she was reliable… 

He went on, deciding that he should learn more about her, because somehow she always managed to turn the conversation to him, and he didn't notice that he'd be talking about himself. Maybe it was her shrink habit. He was afraid that she'd leave knowing everything about him, and he knowing nothing about her. With so many new thoughts in his head he was able to forget the accident and Michelle for a while. 

"That doesn't taste so bad," he said after having tasted her pizza. 

Serena smiled. She was beginning to get used to him; she knew that she could get him to smile sometimes, but she could never change his personality. However, examining more closely, she didn't really mind that his personality was that of a stern, half-laconic, moody man. 

"I think it's delicious," she told him eating a bunch. 

"You think every food is delicious. And you eat a lot," he commented when he watched half of the pizza slices disappear… not into his belly. 

"That's news," she laughed. 

"You'll get fat," he remarked. 

"That's what everyone's been telling me since I was fourteen!" 

And so, it was time to go to sleep. 

"Darien, where do you keep you blankets?" she asked coming into his room, in her pink pyjamas (AN: she was going home, so obviously she had a suitcase with her…). Darien threw her a mocking smile. 

"You sleep in that?" he asked thoroughly amused. "I won't let you live it down!" 

"I don't see anything wrong with it. So it's pink, I like pink," she just stated. "Now, about those blankets?" 

"What do you need them for?" he asked confused. 

"I have to sleep too, you know," she frowned at him, "And it isn't exactly summer." 

"You can't sleep on my couch, I tried it once, and woke up with pain all over my body, hardly able to walk," he warned her, then continued: "so much for expensive design furniture."

"You want me to sleep of the floor then?" she growled.

"Trust me, the floor is more comfy than that couch," he mocked, but then he added with utter indifference, "You can sleep here, this bed was made for two… if not three." 

"What?" she said shocked. "I can't do that!" she yelled, and turned red as he lifted one eyebrow with a questioning look. "It's not proper and— and—" 

"It isn't as if you'd go to jail for sleeping here. And I couldn't possibly do anything to you even if I wanted to, as I can't move without feeling like I'm being stabbed by a chainsaw… Not that I would do anything, of course," he stated the fact sternly, but Serena still had that 'What?!' expression of her face, which annoyed him. "Look, sleep where you want. I don't care what you do, but don't tell me I didn't warn you! The blankets are in one of the kitchen drawers, the one furthest from the sink.

Serena stood there thinking for a moment, it wouldn't hurt to share that bed with Darien. Honestly, she'd rather sleep by him than risk muscle pain because then there would be no one able to do anything around the house. 

"Do you want me to turn off the lights?" she asked awkwardly. 

"Yeah, do that," he answered, even though it was a dumb question, but he spared the poor girl this time, thinking about how uncomfortable she looked. 

She went around turning off lights in the apartment, then came back, walked around his bed to the other side and got in between the sheets, staying as far away from him as she possibly could, curled up in a ball-like shape. 

It was only when Darien closed his eyes that it occurred to him how strange that idea of his sounded. He was just being logical, that he forgot that Serena was actually a woman (AN: not that it would have seemed more natural if she was a man… I mean we've all read FAKE! Ugh, sorrie, for all of you who hate these interruptions), a beautiful one no less! He'd forgotten that he had kissed her earlier in the day too. He felt himself blush with embarrassment. What did she think he was thinking?  

"Good night, Darien," he heard her say sleepily, and relaxed knowing that she wasn't really thinking— that she was just sleepy. Then it occurred to him how tired she must be from acting like his maid the whole day. 

"Night," he said gently, and then added: "Thanks…" 

"Yeah, yeah," she said three quarters asleep. 

Darien fell asleep almost immediately too; after all it was very tiring to lie around in the bed all day doing nothing. 

Hehe! I love Mondays when school is over… or should I say that I love Tuesdays, cuz It's a day with few hard lessons? Anyway… 

Advertisements: since I started on FAKE I might as well go on. It's a really cute shone-ai manga distributed by TOKYOPOP, about two NYPD cops in love. They are both really Bishonen, and while Dee is trying to get then to become a couple, Ryo is just really confused about his feeling for Dee. It's soo cute (but then again I've only read the first volume)! Then there are all these other funny people… Read it, It's great!


	14. Turning the Key

Declaimers: *mutter mutter mutter* always the same story here. 

To all: Well I feel the need to humiliate Darien in this chapter, so forgive me for giving into that urge. And sorrie for the declining quality in my writing: I place the blame on school. To make up for not updating as often I made and extra long chapter! Happy, happy?

sally: Thank you! I hope u enjoy reading this one!

serena79: I don't have msn, unfortunately… can't be bothered to download it as I really don't have time to chat. 

daisy31:  heh, you have no idea how cruel I will be, I kinda feel sorry for Darien…

Moonlightshadows: as I said above… *evil laugh* you have no idea what's coming

aurora: thank you!  sorry I couldn't update earlier. 

Selphie: heh, you predict things… but I won't let Damon jump off a cliff— I like him.

kirei*snow*tenchi: of course I read FAKE! Just read the 2nd volume a few days ago, I'm not really digging Dee (the man's trying to rape Ryo!), and I'm so excited about Berkley (bishonen guy is all I can say)

Dunk-Dunk: I won't leave you hanging like that, I promise… I can't help that I get loads of school work (or that I'm slow at doing them, whichever). Sorry.

invisible2u: do not get carried away, I do not handle such issues as Sex, as they make me blush with embarrassment. but yes to fluff, a lethal dose of it too!

**Hurt Before**

**_*Turning the Key*_**

*Turning the key, unlocking the door

Embracing the roller coaster world

Take it in stride, you're just twenty-five

And you know we've all been hurt before*

"Wake up. Lazy Bum!" Serena heard Darien yell the next morning and instinctively turned to face him. He was still lying on his back, poor thing, with his stern face turned to her. She smiled surprised to see him, making Darien's heart skip a beat. He couldn't understand what went on, and just felt that her lazy, half sleepy face covered with golden hair strands was the trigger to that warm feeling that washed over him. He felt as if he wanted to explode, or just roll over and hug her to death, but he was able to ever skilfully hide these emotions under that severe looking face. 

"Have you any idea what time it is?" he continued annoyed. "It's almost ten o'clock—" 

"Merry Christmas, Darien," she interrupted him still curled up under the blankets, smiling at him, being beautiful. 

Darien softened, he was touched. He looked at her completely defenceless… amazed. He couldn't really understand why she didn't get angry at him. It was Christmas morning, and he was being insensitive, and she just greeted him in a so friendly way? Rei would have gone ballistic, and Michelle too, if they were in her place. Impulsively, he let his hand reach for her and pat her head gently. 

"Merry Christmas to you too," he spoke softly. 

Serena turned over and got up. "I'll make bacon and eggs, and pancakes… I have it all planned out…" 

"I'll get fat," he commented grumpily.

"That's what you're supposed to do on Christmas," she explained, "Besides; I'd have a laugh seeing a cute chubby Darien!" 

Darien felt all warm inside, and suddenly didn't really mind being chubby. But he realised that she was just being friendly—that she didn't mean anything by saying that. 

Then Serena stopped at her tracks. 

"Maybe you'd like to shower or bathe or whatever before we eat?" she stuttered nervously. 

"I'd like that," he told her, "If you just help me to the bathroom, I'll be fine from there," he continued, with his eyes mocking her awkwardness. He noticed how she fidgeted and got nervy when it came to her being close to him in ways that under normal circumstances wouldn't have been normal. He decided that it was because she wasn't used to being around the male population much. 

She helped him to the bathroom, and then waited outside in case something happened inside. Over the door, she kept telling him worriedly to be careful, not to hurry, and take it slow, until she heard him yell that she should shut up, and that he could take care of himself. Then she stood by the door thinking of how naturally she was handing those strange situations. 

He kissed her, and she didn't feel awkward around him when she saw him next. That was her first kiss; she dreamt about that moment so many times: of how perfect it would be. The occurrence the day before was no way near perfect— she admitted that she was dazed and taken by it, and that it felt good, etc— but the scenario was wrong, and she wasn't even sure if she was in love with the kisser, not to mention that the kisser was a complete jerk! She should be feeling regret, or anger, or joy over having had her first kiss, but nope! She just felt as if it was not big deal. 

She slept in a guy's house (not to mention his bed) for the first time, and she was still able to talk to him. She felt that it wasn't a big deal, either, and that feeling shocked, disappointed (as it burst all the illusions of how she should feel), and scared her (what if every single big thing that happened would give her a no big deal feeling?). Then came the bathroom incident, when she helped him undress (AN: don't worry I'm not going echii, he still had his very concealing trunks on), and she was not able to not check him out, but still, it didn't feel as if she should be ashamed of herself for not even being able to do that more discretely. If she didn't watch it, next thing might be— she forced herself to not think about anything anymore; she was just making matters complicated. 

She couldn't help to think that being with Darien felt so ordinary right… natural, and half simple— well, except for those moments, like with his actually kissing her or her blatantly admiring his physique: then she just felt her heart jump and her blood rush. 

He was undeniably sexy, as Michelle put it, so it was only natural that she should feel this way, she told herself. She did not want him, or daydream about him (anymore), so according to her, she wasn't falling for him over again. She was just being friendly and nice; and she wasn't encouraging him (nope, nope, never… right?), so no harm done.

On the other side of the door, ever so slow with his motions while taking his shower, Darien couldn't keep himself from grinning at the way she had stared at him. He even had to remind her that he was about to take a shower, and that she should leave. But he understood it; he knew he had good looks, so no wonder she was gawking. Simple, forgiven, and appreciated. Her soundless compliment was in his eyes the best one he'd ever received (and it's worth mentioning that praises for his good looks were was something he received more than often), he wouldn't mind getting chubby now…

A half and hour later Serena heard Darien shout that he was finished, so she helped him to his couch where she decided that they should breakfast. Then she went to take a quick shower, and after that she made breakfast. 

The rest of the day passed by calmly. She made Chicken a la King (AN: I know I am obsessed with describing food!) for dinner, and forced Darien to dress up before they ate, as she too had made an effort to look nice on Christmas. She looked through his CDs trying to find something Christmassy, as Darien yelled that he'd kill her if she broke his alphabetical order, and she obviously ignored his comment. Then they dined with Cindy Peters in the background, and Serena forced Darien to say grace, even though he protested against it by saying that he was an atheist, and when she would not have it, he lied about being a Muslim, Hindu, and a Buddhist, she, of course did not buy any of it. To Darien her chicken wasn't so bad, and Serena owned with pride that it was delicious, and that it was the best thing she ever cooked. 

As she came with chocolate ice cream for desert, she brought a wrapped something with her. 

"Merry Christmas," she said again handing him the hard, cubic thing wrapped in ridiculous looking Santas. Darien was surprised at first; he didn't expect to receive any presents, and for some time he just stared at the box in his hands. Then he felt it, and guessed that it was a book, and he ripped the ridiculous Santas and found out that there were two books, both by the recent noble prize winner. Taking his time, he read the summaries, and opened the first page to find a little message in Serena's half messy, half elegant calligraphy. 

"I chose Coetzee because he reminds me of you," it said in one of the books, and Darien smiled. Did she really think that he was just like that serious, difficult-looking, peculiar man?

"Thanks," he uttered at last, "I think I'll enjoy these ones," he told her. 

"I know you will! They're great books," she exclaimed. "Especially _Elizabeth Costello." _

Darien then knew that he had a present for her too. "In my coat," he started, "There are two velvet boxes, one's green and the other is blue. The green one is for you." 

"Oh, but I couldn't possibly…" Serena spoke uncertain. "I mean, I didn't expect anything back, I just thought it would be fun for you to have those books. That present was obviously meant to for some one—"

"It wasn't," he denied gravely. "It is for my favourite person this year. I always wait to the last minute with that one, to decide which of my sisters or other female relative will get two presents." 

"Female?" she questioned him amused, not really believing his story. 

"Only females ever make it into my favourite lists, all the male relatives always manage to screw up. Andrew was close this year, but then he made a fool of himself in the meeting in Florida, which I can't forgive him for. Now, go and get it, for heaven's sake!" 

Serena obeyed him, not that she believed what he said, but she didn't want to ruin the atmosphere by annoying him. In front of him, she opened the box, and there lay a silver bracelet shaped in a string of roses, each with a pink glittering stone looking like a drop of dew. What stone those were she didn't even want to imagine. She held up the bracelet against the light and admired its workmanship, then Darien gained custody over it and helped her put it on. As she was about to close the velvet box she noticed a paper inside. 

"Can I read the note in here?" she asked carefully. 

"Of course, you idiot," he told her lightly, "It's your present, isn't it?" 

'To my favourite person, 

I have to thank you for putting up with me. And since I have not been a pleasant person this year either, the tradition continues; you have the right to three presents: the first one you have already seen, no doubt. Now, if you wish, you can have me inflate your ego by making tell exactly why you received this present, and you may have a shot at humiliating me as I will allow you to ask me any question that you wish to ask. You should already know that I will answer honestly, so as to pay for the evils I have committed this year.'

Serena laughed. "So it was true!" she exclaimed pleased, letting go of her guilty feeling. "I know you're a strange person, but why would you do this? Don't you think it's unfair? I mean for the people who never get this presents and have watched you give it to others year after year." 

"I'm not a nice person," he told her, "One can see that even at attempting to be nice I end up being rude—but life is cruel, and it's true that I would never give this present to a person out of pity." As he said this, Serena felt herself blush, she now knew that she deserved it… or else he would have never mentioned that he had any velvet boxes in his coat. 

"You see, I started this tradition when I got my first pay check, I was fifteen, and could afford to buy everyone a worth present," he explained. 

"Oh, so who is the person with most of these?" she asked. 

"Ah-ah," he broke her off, "I already answered your one question." 

"Hey, that's not fair," she protested, "I didn't know you were…" 

"Tough," he said attempting to shrug. Then he though for a moment and answered, "Amy." 

"I should have known," Serena exclaimed, "She deserves it." 

"True." 

"Now, let's hear it," she continued sitting down, straight backed, on the floor, by him. 

"Huh?"

"Inflate my ego," she grinned triumphantly. 

Darien growled. "Alright," he started, taking a deep breath, "You are my favourite person because you saved my life, even though you had all rights to leave there to die. Then you agreed to get me out of that hell house, and to give up the good company of you parents to stay with me and obey my every whim… something which I'm sure you aren't proud of doing." He paused watching Serena's triumphant, bright happy face. He didn't want to go on and degrade himself completely, but he had to; it was part of the deal, so he went on: "And you smell so damn good, I can't get enough of it." 

Serena blinked, and was mute with surprise. Of all the things he could have said, this was by far the last thing she expected to hear. Not really knowing how to respond she muttered: "Thanks, it's Nina Ricci's L'Eau du Temps." 

"It's from a bottle with two birds on," he half asked. 

"Yes." 

"I've always liked that smell," he uttered in a nostalgic voice, then noticing Serena's curious look, he explained, "My mother had two perfumes on her vanity, when I was young. There was one which she wore everyday— she always smelled like that other perfume, and there was this one, which she never wore—or at least I have no memory of her ever smelling like that— and the bottle was always quite full. I would always inhale it when I was in her room, and when she died Trista gained possession over it, along with the other bottle too.  Even today when I'm over at Trista's place, I sneak into her room to smell that fragrance. Which was why I was so surprised when I bumped into you in Baltimore, and you smelled…well...eh, perfect. And even at work, sometimes I'd make sure to collide with you, just to smell your fragrance," he admitted this to her. She saw a slight blush creep into his complexion, and she smiled amused. "I mentioned something about it to my sisters, and they thought I was pathetic— they're probably right." 

Serena beamed. "I don't think it's pathetic at all," she said, she was the romantic type after all. She knew that this would be the greatest compliment that she'd get out of him in a long, long time. And now she finally understood why there was always such tension when they collided… and perhaps Trista's way with her— and Amy's strange insinuations! She leaned over to hug Darien, and he welcomed her easily, feeling quite relaxed that she knew his 'secret'. 

"Merry Christmas…" she whispered in his ear, before hearing a "You too," from him. 

And so the days wore on, Serena helped Darien like a maid during the first few days, but Darien was also recovering, and with his recovery he brought along a new emotion with him. He didn't really notice it, or perhaps he just didn't think it was a big deal, but he was falling into an attachment that was deeper than friendship. He loved just about everything about Serena. Her beautiful form, her kind self, her cheery personality, the way she looked cute when she frowned, and the ball the curled into when she slept, they was she smelled, the way the talked, and although he'd never admit it, her food. But most of all he adored the way she accepted his moody ways, she would never get angry (or not for long at least) at his insensitive ways, instead she would just do like she did on that Christmas morning, or say right to his face, calmly and friendly, that he was being a jerk. 

Sooner than they both expected, it was New Year's Eve. Darien was able to stand up and move around on his own, though very slowly. Serena could have left him on his own, but she didn't, and afraid that she might go, Darien didn't mention it to her. He wanted her to stay, as he liked to be around her. 

Serena, however, was struggling not to fall for Darien again, she insisted in making herself think that she only though of Darien as a friend. And that she only stayed there because he needed her help and because she was worried about him, but deep down she couldn't lie to herself and she knew that it was because she enjoyed Darien's company. He wasn't the most positive man ever, but he was intelligent and entertaining, and because he was so prone to pessimism, many times she saw things in a completely different light. The more they knew each other, she noticed, the less he treaded her like an enemy. To be honest he was also helping her to mature a little— something that her family could never really do, as they forever treaded her as their little girl. 

    It was always exciting to converse with Darien, as they almost never had the same opinion on anything. Darien would also talk about his work with her, and she, too, would 'explain' a bit of psychology to him. Both had something to learn from and teach to one another. 

That evening, they sat tranquilly, watching a romantic comedy on TV, and of course there had to be a commercial break *AN: hai!*! 

"You know, it's lawyers and shrinks that have an evil reputation…" he told her, "So you must have an urge to be evil, or else you'd not want to be a psychologist."

Serena laughed a little, "Economists should also be included in your list, they also have a bad reputation." 

"That's true— but you already knew I was a bad person," he stated, "Now, why did you become a shrink?" 

"It's a long story," she said, "And the movie will be on soon."

"Both you and I have seen this movie before, so why can't we talk about you for a while?"

"Alright," Serena sighed, "I never really planned on becoming a psychologist, in fact, I didn't have any plans at all, and no one expected be to become anything either. I was really bad at school— a D student." Darien looked at her with wonder. "I was a hopeless case, my parents, close acquaintances, teachers— everyone thought I'd get married and become a homemaker, or join a beauty pageant, or at most work at the local hairdresser.

"My brother was the hope of the family, he had great grades, and everyone expected him to achieve something great. It wasn't until senior year when my aunt told me that I was old enough to enter a beauty contest that I started to think about my future. I told her that I didn't want to, not because I had anything against it, I mean I watched those shows, but I didn't like the idea of having the whole US, or at least half of Baltimore watching me walk around with a bikini and heels. That was just not me. So when I refused to even think about it, every one around the dinner table stared at me astonished, and I remember my aunt asking me this: 

"'But Serena how can you just not want to enter a contest? It's the only choice you have… or do you have a boyfriend?" 

"'A boyfriend?' I repeated, I mean I was a cheerleader and all, but date football players? Urgh. Besides, I didn't get what that had to do with anything. 'I don't understand…'

"My aunt looked thoughtful for a while, then she turned to my mother and said: 'Don't worry Irene, I'll talk to Sandry; next summer she might be able to get an internship at her saloon.'

"'What about college?' I remembered asking, and all I got for an answer was a 'What about it?' from my dad. 

"Then my brother told me triumphantly: 'You'll never get in, Meatball Head, you're too stupid.'

"That's when I realised that everyone thought of me a just another dumb blonde, so I decided to prove them wrong; I started to work hard to achieve good grades. Some teachers were so surprised that they actually thought I cheated and plagiarized my work. But that didn't stop me; that fuelled my desire to prove them wrong, get revenge, and laugh in their faces when I finally got admitted into a university. 

"I went to the school counsellor for career advice, and even she didn't take me seriously. She actually tried to convince me that it was better for me to not continue my education, and suggested entering the Miss Baltimore contest! I was shocked and angry, and screamed that it was my right to at least take a carrier test, so I took it. When the results came they suggested that I was good for a nurse or psychologist. And to get back at that stupid counsellor I worked towards becoming a psychologist. 

"I told my parents that I wanted to study psychology, and they laughed and thought I was joking. My grades got a lot better, and because of my name (my father is a professor at the University of Baltimore), I was one of the few to get an interview with a guy from there. Only when I shoved the letter of my being admitted to the university in my family's face that they actually believed me. Then dad got a shock because all his life he'd only saved for my brother's tuition, they never thought I'd make it. At first he tried to talk me out of it, but I wouldn't have it, and told him just how unfair he was being. But I liked to see my parents suffer over the tuition fee, that was what they got from thinking that I was stupid. My brother then had to work harder to get a scholarship because of me, and to be honest I felt quite guilty for a while, but he made it through. 

"The best day of my life was when I got the admission letter, and went around showing it to everyone who had given up on me to prove them wrong. You should have seen their faces! Especially the counsellor's! I told her in her face that I'd be a better high school counsellor that her… But as I entered my studies I really enjoyed psychology and continued of to get a master's degree." 

"That's quite a tale! I had a vague I idea that you were kind of vengeful… but hell, they deserved it. I can't understand how you still love your family so much," he commented. 

"I guess I don't hold grudges for long; I'd fine after I get my revenge," she said, "Besides they love me, just because they underestimated me doesn't mean that they didn't love me."

"You're the cutest person," he let her know, glancing at his watch. Five to midnight it showed. "Oh, maybe we should go to the balcony to watch the fireworks." 

"Oh, I love fireworks!" Serena exclaimed, jumping up from the couch, ready to head out. 

They stood in the balcony, watching the magnificent display of colours and shapes. Red, White, green, pink, blue, violet, hearts, stars, the Canadian flag's leaf (AN: I'm sorry, I suck at remembering names of trees, the only one I can actually remember is oak…), diamonds, and even dove like shapes appeared. Sometime between the beginning and the end of the show Serena shivered at the cold and Darien, unconsciously pulled her into his embrace, dragging her so close that Serena leaned on him instead of the balcony rails. It felt so natural, and they really didn't notice what they had just done. 

After the fireworks, they whished each other a happy new year, and minutes later Amy called to wish Darien a happy new year. Serena, of course, just had to answer the phone by mistake. 

"Serena?" Amy said shocked. 

"Yes, it's me, Happy New Year to you too!" She greeted happily. 

"What are you doing there, of all places?" her shy friend continued, the information she just acquired simply did not compute, so Serena laughed and explained it all. 

"But Darien told me he was alone," Amy muttered, "I'm glad you stay with him. Thank you, although it's amazing that you haven't killed each other yet." 

"I can't believe it myself," she chirped, "Say hi to all the Diamonds, and wish them a happy new year for me! I'll give the phone over to your bother!" 

"Happy New—" he was cut off by his sister. "What? So what? Amy… I didn't want you here, okay, I wanted to think and be alone… Of course I was able to think… It's as good as being alone--- don't be an idiot! I can't stand this, let's end this stupid conversation: Happy New Year!" with that Darien ended the call, and he sighed heavily. "I could hear Mina's voice close by, and you know how scary that woman can be— Andrew'll never make in to my favourite's list for marrying that woman." Serena smiled. "You're enjoying this, aren't you?" Serena nodded. "Damn you!" 

Then Serena called her family to wish then a happy new year, they talked for a long time, as always, and in the mean time Darien went to bed. When she came in, she found him reading one of the books she gave him. She smiled and snuggled into the bed, far away on the other side— as far away from Darien and possible. Darien turned off the reading lamp, and whispered good night. Good morning was her answer, as technically it was already the next day. 

Sometime in the middle of the night, while they slept, Darien had managed to roll over to Serena's side, lying close to her, with his face nuzzled in her hair, and an arm around her waist. Unconsciously Serena nestled closer into his embrace… 

The first rays of sunshine greeted her closed eyelids. Serena didn't really want to wake up, she had just had her life's best sleep, and was warm and fuzzy, but she knew that she had to get up, so like all sane people she decided to stretch. As she tried to do so she felt something heavy around her. Her eyes darted to her waist, where she found a hand, instinctively she turned her whole body around to face the person behind her… that was when Darien woke up, and while making a random more with his head their lips met. Startled, Serena backed away, and soon fell from the bed onto the floor. Darien only looked over the edge with a question mark on his head. 

"Uh, good morning?" he tried, seeing her frowning face, but not really understanding what was going on. 

"Good morning? Is that all you can say?" he heard her angry voice from the floor, then he saw her stand up. "Mind if you explain yourself? You assured me that this wouldn't happen!" 

"What did just happen?" he asked clueless, scratching his head, still in his pyjamas, fully clothed, etc. 

"You! — on my side of the bed… with your arm… on me!" she stammered. 

"Oh my… did I do that? We didn't— did we?" he stammered half scared. 

"Uh, I don't think so…" Serena said lowering her head looking down her pink flannel pyjamas to hide her blush. She felt really strange; the air in the room seemed to have condensed a thousand times. 

"Look, I'm sorry," he started to apologize, sitting up; "I didn't mean to… are you okay?" 

"Yeah," she uttered. "I gotta go— take a shower," with that she ran away, leaving Darien sitting there, wondering why he woke up. That was the best night of sleep he had since he was a kid! He felt safe and wanted and her dreamed of her— doing all sort of crazy things (by that meaning rolling around the snow, making a snowman, ice skating, having ice cream in the middle of winter— all things Darien wouldn't do because he's such a stick in the mud). He had no idea he'd actually rolled over to her said and embraced her like that! Hang on there— he didn't really see what was so damned wrong with that. He had his arm around her, so what? … Right, she'd never been with a guy before; she's the romantic type. He had to make it up to her somehow, so with that he got up to make breakfast.

Serena exited the bathroom to meet the smell of pancakes, so she went to the kitchen to find Darien, still in his PJs making them. She smiled at him, shyly, and helped him set the table, so that they could eat— in silence. 

"Darien, I think I'll go home today," she said finally after having eaten several pancakes. "You can manage by yourself now, and I think we've been around each other for too long." 

Darien stared at her eyes for a few moments— emotionless. He knew she was right, even though it felt so wrong. "You're right…" he finally said, quite reluctantly, if he could say so himself.

There was silence again, and they ate— Serena pigged out, and Darien ate— without saying a word. Darien just watched her stuff herself with a smile on his lips. He had grown to like her more than he really liked to admit, he was however, forced to admit it now! Hello! Rolling over at night to be by her side is a pretty clear sign telling him that he was falling, right? Or perhaps, he'd always been falling, but now that he'd landed he was feeling the impact. Now, there was only one pancake left, he had eaten four and was quite full… Serena looked up, and chirped: 

"Okay, so you are a better cook than I am," then she said the rest with puppy eyes, "Can I have the last one?" Darien's eyes lit up, at the compliment. 

"Yeah," he said lazily, "I made them for you anyway." 

After breakfast Serena did the dishes, and packed her suitcase, while Darien took his shower. When he was done she was ready to leave.

"I'll be going now," she uttered at the door, and watched him slowly walk towards her. "You'll call me if you need any help; I felt the number on your nightstand."

"Yeah, I've noticed," he said quietly. He didn't want her to leave— he was having the time on his life here with her! Didn't she get that? "Thanks for helping me out, I don't know how I'll repay you…" 

"You don't need to, you already got into that accident, doing that over again would be stupid," she joked opening the door ready to leave. 

The instance she was about to lift her suitcase, he grabbed her hand and brought her to him; as if it was a last, desperate plea to make her stay he kissed her. She, of course, just couldn't resist him, and let him in. It was a sweet, gentle, lovely kiss, unlike the first one they shared. Here Darien was aware of how inexperienced she really was. It hit him that he was the first guy to kiss her, and he didn't feel sorry; he was glad he had that honour. He held her tight as her hands relaxed on his chest, and broke away gently.

Serena was truly dazed; she had never felt anything so… so good in her life. She felt as if she was seeing stars, as if she was flying. She knew she would have collapsed if Darien was not still holding her— she did not only feel weak in her knees, but in every joint and bone of her body! She was about to open her eyes, when his lips met hers again, forcing then to close again. He gave her two more butterfly kisses. She felt his arms start to retreat… 

"No, don't, Darien! I don't be able to stand!" she yelled alarmed. She heard Darien's sorry attempt to repress a laugh. 

"I'm the invalid here," he mocked. 

"I know, but this is your fault," she told him. "See what I mean when I say that we've been around each other too long?" 

"Yeah," he whispered. It was no use; she was leaving just as soon as she could stand again. There was nothing he could do about it… well; he waited, embracing her, hoping that she'd never be able to stand again. But two minutes or so later she was out of his house. 

Heh, advertisement: J. M. Coetzee, Nobel Prize winner this year, writes good books. _Elizabeth Costello was splendid. _


	15. Roller Coaster World

Lady Tristana Rogue: here's my next instalment! I'm getting all giddy as the story is racing towards an ending soon.

serena79: I'm sorry I couldn't make it so soon; I still blame it all on school for forcing me to have to do community service. Why can't they accept my theory of self interest?

sally: oh, the sure to know that stuff will happen!

koldy: wicked! 

aurora: Thank you! I've finally updated *goes into chibi state* happy, happy? *bats eyelashes*

Dunk-Dunk: heh! Thanks! *blush* the mushiness… when I reread it, I can't stop myself from wondering what I was thinking!

the last fallen angel: I am trying to update it more often, but there are forces above me that will just not allow me to! I am however, ready, willing, and constantly waiting to write. 

Tiffany: Mercy beaucoup! *don't ask... probably due to too much studying*

Hot Cuttie: Arigato!

invisible2u: she had to leave because they have been around each other for too long, if she stayed a day longer who knows what might have happened! I don't even want to think about it! Anyway another reason is because: I'm evil! *well sort of… I try to be… argh…*

Miiaevia: *muhaha* well, I want to make him go back to his normal state of mind... 

drsilly-1: Gee, thanks! I kneel and blush humbly…

**Hurt Before**

**_*Roller Coaster World*_**

*Turning the key, unlocking the door

Embracing the roller coaster world

Stepping outside, body and soul

Taking whatever future holds*

The day after Serena left, Darien received a call from Trista, informing him that she had returned from Europe. They talked for a while and told each other of their Christmases. Trista was surprised to find out that he had gotten himself into an accident, but what was more shocking was that Serena had been there to help him out. He told her why Serena left, and Trista's shock reached new heights. She knew that Serena had a magnetic personality, but to make Darien be over Michelle is a little more than a week was more than she had ever imagined. Was she so powerful that she could shatter her brother's defences, and make him fall in love in such a short time span?

After his conversation with his sister, Darien started to reflect upon her words. He started to think about the reasons for his accident, about Michelle, and his feelings for people in general. While he thought, he came to answer his sister's question. Serena wasn't, in fact, that powerful. She had been breaking him down since September— that would be three months. It took only half that time for Rei to seduce him, and Michelle did it in one tiny month. Now, Serena, took so long, but in the process she succeeded in breaking him thoroughly, his defences were now ashes; there was no way he'd be able to rebuild it all. 

Five days without any contact with Serena drove him to the brink of insanity. He missed her, as much as he tried to deny it. But he was too proud to call her for no reason, and too honest and uptight to fake being ill. On the Sunday, he found himself eagerly, impatiently counting down the time until the Monday; those twenty-four hours were pure agony to him.

Luck caught up with him, however, as he saw her already in the morning, while in the elevator. His heart grew overpowered with emotion and surprise when the slide doors of the metal box opened to reveal her figure, dressed in that ever clean while jacket, a pair of jeans, and winter boots. She looked absolutely enchanting with her rosy cheeks and snow flaky hair. 

"You should wear a hat, or a cap with this weather," he pointed out automatically.

"Hello, Darien!" she greeted pleasantly. "I appreciate your concern for my health, but there's really nothing to worry about."

"That's Mr. Shields, to you Missy," he corrected severely, automatically. He knew that it was wrong, but this routine had become so much a part of his life that he could not stop himself. "Your health is no concern of mine, as long as you don't use too much of our insurance money." 

Serena looked at him strangely. At first his remarks did not make sense, as she could not believe that Darien was capable of being so mean. Then she remembered that he had always been mean. The realization only caused her to switch the confused expression to an utterly disgusted one. 

"I was going to ask you how you were feeling," she started coolly, "But seeing that you can't bring yourself to feel or even express a tiny bit of gratitude, I have changed my mind." 

Soon after that the elevator reached her floor, and she walked out. She was slightly humiliated by him, with the whole name correction remark. She thought that he had changed… then she kicked herself mentally; she was committing the same mistake that most women liked to commit. He'd a grown man, Serena, he'll never change, she reminded herself as she walked into her office. 

Meanwhile, Darien continued to ride up one floor, regretting his remarks. He had been aching for the moment to see her again, to prove to her that she was wrong— they hadn't been around each other for too long— that his love towards her was genuine. But all he could manage was to prove her right. He walked to his office cursing at himself, ignoring everyone who greeted him, and as he closed the door he could think of nothing else but 'I have to make it up to her'! 

As he worked, he tried to think of something appropriate to do. So as it was, he didn't really get anything done, which annoyed him. Finally, he gave up on his work; he decided that her good opinion of him was more important than a new client, or advertisement. Then suddenly, like a lightning bolt, an idea came to him, and he stood up and left his work to carry out his plan. 

It was lunch time, and from the looks that Serena received from her friends as they peeked in on her, she knew that they were dying to know about her 'vacation' with Darien. She didn't feel like satisfying them their curiosity, so she pretended to have much to do when they came in asking her to join them for lunch. When they were gone, she continued to work, it was better to get it done and go home early, that way she might be able to delay (and prepare herself) for their interrogations. 

She heard a knock on her door, and looked up surprised. Who would be so stupid as to come when she was supposedly out for lunch? Nevertheless, she shouted a "yes", and continued writing her paperwork. 

The door opened to reveal Darien, with a little bouquet of a total of six roses, half yellow and half white. She looked up, blinking with surprise. 

"Um, hi, Serena," he stuttered shyly. 

"That's Miss Moone to you Mister," she remarked annoyed. "What do you want?" 

Darien had to gather himself, what she said didn't sound nice to his ears. Then he recalled that it was just how he treated her this morning. 

"I wanted to apologize and to thank your properly," he explained, then he remembered the flowers, "These are for you. I didn't mean to be rude this morning, but I am a man who has a hard time breaking routines, and it was a routine of mine to irritate you every time we were in the elevator together…" 

Serena looked at him stunned. What she hearing correctly? If she was, what trick did he have up his sleeve? And roses too! Wow, under any other circumstances, with almost any other guy, that gesture would have been so romantic! 

"Aren't you going to accept my apologies?" he asked softly, as his eyes flickered.

"Of— of course," Serena stammered, standing up walking around her desk to receive the flowers. Instinctively she took them lovingly, and smelled them. "They're beautiful," she continued so stammer, caressing one of the rose's petals. 

As she played with the rose's petals Darien noticed that she was wearing the bracelet that he'd given her for Christmas. His heart grew warm, and all he wanted to do was to hold her, but he resisted temptation. 

"So will you have lunch with me?" he asked at last. 

"I can't, I have work to do," Serena replied. She didn't want to go and eat with him as he'd probably pull off a nasty trick like he did in November. 

"I also have work to do, but I made time to come here and offer my apologies," he told her sternly, "Now, the least you can do is accept my invitation." 

"That least 'I' can do?" Serena repeated emphasising the 'I'. "I'll tell you what I—" 

They were interrupted by Diamond coming into the office without knocking. Darien turned around to face his cousin, his eyes plainly revealing his annoyance. Serena shivered and backed away nervously, and in the process of her action she managed to drop the roses. Totally confused both Serena and Darien went of their knees trying to pick up the bouquet, and accidentally Serena's hand landed on Darien's, and she let it linger there, while Darien didn't attempt to snatch it away. 

"Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt," Diamond said brightly, not at all sorry for anything, "Serena, I just came by to take you to lunch," he stopped then looked at Darien with an amused face. It was the first time he'd seen his cousin express an emotion other than nonchalance and anger. Darien was looking at him with jealousy clearly written in his face, and his nervousness, too, betrayed him. 

"I'm afraid I'll have to decline your… offer," Serena uttered clearly, while she unconsciously squeezed Darien's hand. Damon scared her, and between going to lunch with him or Darien, she would choose Darien no matter how many tricks he had up his sleeve. "Mr. Shields and I were just going to have lunch together." 

Darien had to look away from his cousin to hide his joyous smile, and to compose himself as his heart raced knowing that Serena's hand was holding his. Serena, however, watched Damon gawk with surprise, then nod and leave. 

They went to a Thai restaurant that was by the headquarters. As they talked Darien began to relax again, but sometimes he'd still stammer when they accidentally touched. He tried to tell himself that he'd been with loads of girls and that he should be used to this, but that didn't help, because counting Michelle he'd only been with five girls, and his situation had been much easier as they were the ones doing the chasing, not him. Now here he was, the one trying to convince her that he wasn't a complete jerk… 

"So what joke are you going to pull on me this time, Mr. Shields?" she asked as they sat down with their menus. She said that pronouncing 'Mr. Shields' with a sarcastic tone. 

"None that I know of," he smiled sheepishly, "I'm sorry about this morning, I don't really mind you calling me Darien— I was just being a jerk… I— I guess I'm not a morning person," he tried to explain. 

"Nor a day person, nor afternoon, evening, and night person, either," she replied dryly. 

"You're wearing the Christmas bracelet," he remarked pleased, ignoring her comment. 

"Yes," she answered blushing lightly, "It matches my sweater." 

She was wearing a pink sweater, and the bracelet's pink stones did have the same colour, but she hadn't worn it because she wanted her clothes to match. To be honest, that bracelet had been on her arm ever since Christmas. She hadn't really bothered to take it off, as she forgot that she had received it from him.

"I see," Darien nodded. "So, if I'm not being too nosy, may I ask what the deal is with you and Diamond?" that was a pretty blunt question, everyone except Serena, would have understood he was so head over heels. 

"There isn't a deal with us," Serena answered fidgeting, glad that a waiter came to take their orders. 

"I'm telling you, Serena don't trust him—" he continued seriously when the waiter had gone. 

"I know what he is up to! Serena interrupted, "Do I look stupid to you?" She watched Darien smile at that comment just to kid a little, his eyes, however, remained serious. "He gives me the creeps… I don't like to be near him." 

"I'm glad you feel that way," he muttered, "I wouldn't want to see you out of a job, just because he grew bored of you, like the last secretary… If you know what I mean— everyone says I scared her to death— oh, hell!"

"Yeah," Serena nodded, "I'm just going to finish his report, by tomorrow morning he will have received it and he's therapy will be over," she smiled long for that relief. 

Darien laughed— actually laughed. Serena looked at him surprised, not understanding what was so funny, but after a few moments she didn't really care, as he looked so terribly handsome when he was laughing. She could see that he was quite happy, and when she thought about how worried he had been about to just a few moments before she felt a shovel dig into her heart, un-burying those old feelings for him. At that moment it would have been very hard for any young lady not to be taken by him, now imagine Serena, who had know him for three months, helped him when he was in need, seen a nicer side of him, and even been kissed by him! She could just not hide the loving smile that crept upon her lips and took over her whole face. 

"What's no funny?" she asked at length, blushing. There was magic in that moment, and even the waiter, who arrived with the drinks decided to wait and not ruin the sparkles flying about them. 

"I knew it!" Darien said at last, with his eyes bright. "I told Damon that you were cleverer than him. I told him not to mess with you because it would lead to nowhere, and that he'd be on the losing side." 

"And that is funny?" Serena posed raising one of her eyebrows. 

"Oh, come on," Darien returned smiling charmingly, not really meaning to do so, but his lady looked so beautiful that he wasn't able to resist, "You know, I'm not a nice person, now do you expect me to have a normal kind of humour?" 

"I'd expect you to have no humour at all," she said crossly, and let the waiter serve then the drinks, then she took a sip of her coke. Darien chuckled at her comment. 

They ate lunch in a pleasant manner, just like they had done a week before, when Serena was still at his place. Needless to say they both enjoyed each other's company, and Serena was struck with how friendly Darien had become compared to the time before the accident. It was quite easy for her to see that he had, in fact, not changed, but that he was revealing his true self to her. The true self that he hid from her because of his prejudice against psychologist. A prejudice which was natural for him to feel, as he had his share if visits to their offices; visits that harmed him more than healed. Serena cursed all corrupt shrinks that existed in this world. He did not need them, all he needed was someone who understood him, and accepted him as he was, and she was convinced that that someone was her. She hoped that Darien would see that sooner or later. 

Towards the end of the working day, Damon took the opportunity to go by Serena's office to settle their next date. He was fascinated by the way she could keep him hanging like that, without making him lose interest in her. Many women had tried to play hard to get with him, but that only ended up with a no win situation as Damon soon grew bored of chasing and settled for an easier prey that was younger and twice as pretty. Now, he had had not seen her in almost two weeks! Unknown to him, he felt the same yearning to see her that Darien had felt when he wasn't in contact with her. Well, perhaps Damon was not as desperate as Darien had been, as his oversized ego hindered him from feeling any doubt concerning her feelings towards him. 

However, Damon was greatly disappointed to find that a half an hour before she was supposed to quit, Serena had already left her office. His disappointment soon turned towards shallow jealousy, as he was convinced that she was up in Darien's office doing all sorts of dirty deeds that he pictured her doing to him. He had seen the complicity in their eyes earlier in the day, so he thought he knew. With that he hurried up to Darien's office hoping to catch them red-handed and fire her on the spot, because she had apparently chosen a meagre sales' manager over him, the president of Diamond and Shields. 

His anger rose towards explosion when he opened the door, without knocking, to find Darien alone, innocently focused on his work. 

"Where is she?" he questioned brutally. 

Darien looked away from his computer screen with a friendly expression to meet eye with his cousin. "I'm not sure I know who you mean," he uttered confused. 

"Don't give me that innocent look," Damon spoke, "What kind of conspiracy theories have you been telling her about during lunch?" 

Darien smiled with realization and leaned back on his chair, mocking Damon. "None that she didn't already know about," he answered. "Give it up, Damon; you have no chance with her." 

"What? You're trying to get her into bed too, aren't you? You good for nothing sissy," Damon shouted coming close to Darien's desk with a threatening expression. 

"As a matter of fact, yes, I am… someday," he said amused, "But for now I am prioritizing other things. So, how does it feel, now that you have competition, Damon? It's it exciting? Which one is she going to chose? A person like you, who is only trying to use her, or me, who am willing to give her the whole fairy tale package?" 

"Why, you sneaky son of a gun—"

"You listen to me, Damon," Darien ordered in his severest voice, standing up. "I care deeply for Miss Moone, and I will never watch her give herself up to you, even if it means that I should have to literally tear you apart. She's free to be with any other man, as long as it's not you." 

Damon gave him a hypocritical smile, "We'll see who wins, Darien," he said at last. 

"It's not a question of winning or losing," Darien make it clear, "I'm warning you to back off, for if you so much as touch her, I will wring you neck five hundred degrees," he uttered his dangerously.

"What, will you bring a protractor along to measure it accurately?"

"Hell yeah!" Darien told, "Now get out, and return to you job, you sorry excuse for a president." 

Heee! I am finally done with this chapter, and I'm halfway done with 16 (it's still in my notebook), so I hope to get another update soon... Anyway, ja ne!


	16. Take It in Stride

Namiko-Daughter of Sekhmet: Thank you, hope you like this chapter too! 

serena79: I really tried to finish this chapter sooner, but I was hit my two things: tests and a writer's block! But I'm really proud of myself, as I was able to fight back my writer's block just after three days! 

koldy: segoi!

spades: thank you for that complement! Although I have to say I'm really happy with the reviews I got so far, I never expected to get this many!

fritzi: hey, you guys take time to read my stories, so of course I have to read the reviews! I care about what you think, or else I'd just keep the story in my chemistry notebook forever. 

pamela: I hope you like fluff then!

sally: heh, will that Diamond ever learn?

aurora: if u happy then me happy too! hope u enjoy dis chapter!

Moonlightshadows: thank you!

Lady Tristana Rogue: I think that Darien kicks ass in this chapter, he is in his full glory here, although I don't think I can promise any actual kicking ass scenes…

invisible2u: u kidding? I've always had a secret crush on Diamond, and I've always wished that Diamond and Pluto would end up together!

Mindy: I'm not gonna stop writing, I promise... at least until this song ends… there are two more line in the song after this…

kalinda: Here, here! is the next chapter!

solar-roselover: thank! I know this isn't soon, forgive me!

CC: thankie-dankie-doo! *yes, I am not your average sane person!*****

**Hurt Before**

**_*Take It In Stride*_**

*Turning the key, unlocking the door

Embracing the roller coaster world

Take it in stride; you're just twenty-five

And you know we've all been hurt before*

During the afternoon Serena had finally managed to finish Damon Diamond's report. Once she was done with that, she went home early, avoiding her curious friends. 

The next day she arrived just in time to share the elevator up to the offices with Darien again. She remembered the events of the day before, and he greeted her with a hearty smile. She could have sworn that the metallic walls of the elevator had turned a pinkish colour. There, she was back at square one, falling at his feet again. Literally, because she tripped on the little gap between the floor and the elevator in the midst of the fuzzy feeling she got from seeing him again. Luckily, Darien saved her from humiliation by catching her fall. 

"You clumsy little thing," he sighed friendly, "Are you alright?" 

"I am," Serena managed as she felt Darien hug her carefully in case she hurt anything. Gently she freed herself from him, hiding her blush. She didn't bother to press the button for her floor. 

"Aren't you going to your office?" Darien asked curiously noticing this. 

"No, I have to give Mr. Diamond his report," she explained, "Now that our sessions are over." 

She saw the broad smile in his face. "Good for you," he told her, sounding rather happy. 

They parted at Rei's desk, who was looking at them with two big, round eyes almost bursting with curiosity. She couldn't believe the sight; Serena and Darien were actually getting along, she never thought she'd live to see this day. Both Lita and Rei followed the scene, where Darien went into his office with a broad grin, and even sounded happy instead of nonchalant when he greeted them. Then there was Serena who was as pink as cotton candy, with her azure eyes brighter than ever, turned the opposite way to go to Diamond's quarters. And just before both persons opened their doors, they stole one last glance at each other, then pressed their respective doors with a slight chuckle at the coincidence. Lita and Rei did not know what to make of what they saw. 

Serena found Diamond sitting lazily by his desk, having a smoke. She greeted him politely, and he jumped up, quit smoking and was ready to oblige her. He ran around his desk to draw the chair for her, and when she was seated, he nervously asked if she wanted a drink. 

"No, thank you," Serena answered good naturedly, "Mr. Diamond, why don't you sit down." 

Diamond obeyed her instantly. "So," he started, "When are we going to have dinner together again?" he attacked, like a lion jumping eagerly onto his deer meal. 

"Listen," Serena started at the other end of the thread, "I have finished your report, it's not that big, as it is only based on the two sessions I had with you. From our talks, I concluded that those two sessions were enough, which is why I am now giving you this report. You can, however, drop by my office if you still feel the need to talk, if you feel that you have problems." 

"What are you trying to say?" Damon questioned suspiciously. 

"That there will be no more dinners, Mr. Diamond, I do not feel comfortable going on dates with my employer," Serena said outright. "Please, take the time to read the report; it may help you in the future." 

With that Serena left, and Damon had not really processed what she said. At first he was just stupefied by her refusal. Then, when she had long gone, he realised what she meant. She did not want him! He knew that Darien had to do with it, but it was beyond him to understand why she would rather be together with a jerk, who had always treated her bad, than him. Diamond went into a jealous rage, and decided that it was time for revenge. 

Later in the afternoon, Damon summoned her to his office. Serena assumed that he'd read through her report, and wanted to talk to her about it. She couldn't have been more wrong and naïve. To be true, he did not even take a look at the report; instead he carelessly put it in a random pile on him desk and forgot about it. When she came into his office, he was looking at her grimly, in a way that told her that she was in trouble. 

"Ms. Moone," Diamond spoke once Serena was seated, "You have one week to hand in your resignation letter, or I will have to fire you." 

Serena was shocked, and could not utter a word for a minute or two. At first she didn't really understand what she had done wrong, for all she knew, most of the staff that came to her were quite satisfied. And besides, how is it that Diamond was firing her and not Amara, the personnel manager? She tried to compose herself, so that she'd be able to satisfy her curiosity. 

"I don't understand," Serena uttered at last, looking at Diamond in the eye. "Will you give me reasons to why this decision has been taken?" 

Diamond paused for a moment, trying to put together an answer. "You have disobeyed certain orders," he came up with at last. 

Serena was confused with this statement, but seconds later it all came back to her. She had refused to be Diamond's next girlfriend! She couldn't believe this was happening to her and a torpedo of anger shot trough her. She stood up, still facing that pervert. 

"Sure as hell, I'll resign," she shouted, "You won't have to worry, you'll have my resignation letter by tomorrow, but don't you think that I'll spare you for one second, Mister!"

"Keep you voice down, Hon," Diamond smiled sarcastically, "Honestly, what is it was you are going to do? Sue me?" 

"Now that you gave me the idea," Serena yelled going out, "I think will!" 

With that she walked out slamming the door, but she barely reached the elevator before the collapsed crying. How could she be so stupid? She shouldn't have gone out with him, she should've never accepted this promotion, she should've stayed home in the safely of her parents. 

Lita and Rei quickly left their desks and ran other to Serena to try to find out what was wrong and to comfort her. The commotion was so great that Darien had heard the door slam from his office, and the feet running and the noise coming from outside. He came out to check up on things when he found Serena crying and the two other girls on the ground with her. 

"Serena," Lita was trying softly, "What's wrong? What happened in there? Please, speak…Sweetheart…" 

"What's going on," they heard Darien's authoritarian voice. 

"We don't know," Rei explained, "All I can say is that it looks like Diamond and Serena had a fight of some sort with all that shouting." 

Darien's eyes grew soft and troubled. "All right, you guys, let me take care of her," he said to the girls' surprise. 

"Never," Rei snapped, "For all we know, you'll hurt her even more." 

"Shut up, Rei," Darien growled, "You don't know what the hell you're babbling about." As he said this she pushed Rei away, and hugged crying Serena gently. "It's alright, Serena, we'll talk about it in my office, let me carry you." 

Both Rei and Lita were surprised with his actions, and couldn't help but to think that he had something to do with the whole thing. The way he spoke, and let his hand caress her hair and cheeks, wiping away the tears, was just so new to them. They had never seen Darien show this much affection publicly, and we have to remember that Rei was once married to him too! They watched open mouthed as he lifted Serena up effortlessly, and carried her into his office. 

Inside his office, Darien sat her on his chair, and let her cry her heart out. He went down on his knees, stroking her hair, letting her cry on his light blue dress shirt. He whispered comforting words in her ear, and didn't hesitate to call her "sweetheart", "dear" and "darling". Through this they did not know that they were being spied on by two secretaries who could not contain their curiosity. 

Finally Serena stopped crying. She hugged him tightly and she looked up to his eyes, which were, obviously concerned. 

"What am I going to do," she uttered hopelessly. 

"We might figure something out if you tell me what's ailing you," he whispered brushing some hair from her wet eyes. "Serena, what did Diamond do?" 

"He fired me, Darien," she sighed unhappily, "I have a week to hand in my resignation letter." 

Darien was so taken aback by what she said that he had to back away some, to get the information to come through to his brain. Then he realised that he should've known. What was he imagining? Something as stupid as Diamond forbidding her to have lunch with him? This is the third time that he has forced an employee to resign! He stood up, pacing angrily. 

"That bastard!" he exclaimed angrily. "How can he do this? Dirty piece of scum! I won't let him, this time. Not now, not when things are like this," then in the midst of this passionate discourse he turned to Serena, and spoke in an assuring voice, "I won't let you go. He can't fire you, not now when I love you. I'll talk to him; I'll make sure that he takes back his words, even if it means using violence. I warned him not to try anything on you, but I guess he was asking for it." 

With that, Darien started to head out. They did not notice two pairs of panicked eyes retreat in fear of being caught spying.

"Darien, stop!" Serena asked going after him, grabbing his arm. "Wait, don't go yet…" 

He obeyed her, and turned to look at the lovely smelling young lady. She observed him blushing, and then slowly she brought her arms around his neck. They did not notice the two pairs of eyes returning to watch them through the small gap between the door and the wall, when they noticed that Darien was not coming out. 

"Did you just mean what you said? Do you really love me?" she whispered, unsure.

He didn't know how to answer to that. To be honest, he wasn't really aware that he'd just told her that he loved her. Now he wasn't sure how she'd take it, and the fact that she was embracing him did not seem to encourage him of anything. 

"Yes," he said at last, in a low voice, blushing (!). 

"Oh, my love, you don't know how many times I've dreamt of his moment," she whispered, standing on her tip toes, then giving his a butterfly kiss of his lips. 

"You mean you—" he uttered surprised, and watched her nod with an angelic face. Darien then gave a laugh, and picked her up and spun her around the office. When he put her down again, he wasted no time in giving her the kiss that he'd wanted to share with her since the day that she left his apartment. 

"You're my angel," he said at last, breaking the kiss. Serena smiled, smuggling into him, ignoring the wet spot on his shirt that her tears had left. "Don't worry; he can't do anything to you. We'll take it up at the staff meeting on Friday, and have a vote. Amy, Trista, and I represent half of the company, and I'm sure Michelle and Andrew won't stand by their brother when they hear of his dealings."

"You're so good," Serena told him, "I wish Diamond could be like you, it would save both Trista and himself a lot of pain."

"Are you insane?" Darien joked, "I mean, I've been a first class jerk, and somehow you still fell in love with me. You must be crazy." 

"Perhaps," she smiled, "But I knew you were good right from the start."

"Right," he recalled, "For a moment there, I forgot that you are a shrink." 

Serena chuckled, while Darien laughed with happiness, embracing her. They never suspected that by now Amy, Mina, Andrew, Trista, Amara, and Michelle knew about their 'secret', for those two pairs of spying eyes wasted no time in phoning around to tell everyone about the newest gossip.

Doki, dok Minna-chan!!! Don't stop reading yet, cuz I'm not done, there are still two lines left to this song! I'd like to advertise my other story Suppressed Feelings; I'll be updating it soon! Oh, and also… I have to advertise the cutest manga: Girl Got Game! Visit to read more about it, and many other mangas!


	17. You're Not Alone

**serena79:** *dramatic music* and now... *drum rolls* the grand finale! Thanks a lot for being such a faithful reviewer! 

**Lady Tristana Rouge:** *snicker* hell yea!...however, I do hope that your hate for Diamond is not that strong…

**Namiko-Daughter of Sekhmet:** Arigato! 

**Moonlightshadows:** fired? *contemplates* *lights bulb lights up*

**aurora:** oh yes, chap. 16 was my second fave chapter to write…. in case you're wondering *you're probably not wondering, but I'm gonna tell you anyway,* my fave is chap. 5… and thank you for liking this story!

**coey-sama:** appealing to my conscience, huh? Well, I'm planning on getting rid of it by the end of this chapter. *bounce, bounce* But I'm really glad you liked this story *tries to bow, but is in chibi state so bow's kinda chibiish* I'm sorry to disappoint you, but yea, no more hurt before after this *and you think: 'well it's about time…'*

**windswept-heaven:** you think Michelle and Darien were weird? try Haruka and Chibiusa! That, my friend, is weird, and I think I got scared for life after reading that fan fic (fine, it was a parody of the whole SM series… but still)! This probably explains my weird pairings in this story. Please forgive me and do not sue me if I managed to traumatize you too… it was, er, not, uh, *really*, um, my intention… anyway… it was only for a short while, and besides wouldn't Darien look really cute wearing a Michelle on his side?... not to say that he is not cute with Serena… or anyone else… or just by himself(hang on there he's the cutest when he's just by himself… yes, I will stop this pointless ramble now). Thank you! I really hope you'll enjoy this last chapter too!

**sally:** thank you! hope you enjoy this one!

**Tiffany:** "soon" is a relative… for some of us *due to powers beyond their control* it is just a "distant" family member…*laughs at self for attempting to be philosophical*

**kalinda:** you forgot the "wait" there, but my ego forgives you! Just kidding, my humble self is overjoyed that you enjoyed this story!

**Milady Goddess:** there's that word "soon" again… I'm sorry to have kept you waiting… no, I really am… really, I am! *I don't sound convincing do I? Ok, I'll just blame the school again! And I really am sorry, and pissed because I want this story to be over soon! (cries)*

**rosie:** here's the last update, hope you enjoy it!

**DragonAngel:** Hmmm. I don't really know where your opinion stands on the funniness of Girl Got Game, but don't hate me when I say that after FAKE, GGG is my fave Funny Manga *you see I have different lists for my favourite funny manga and my favourite serious manga*. Lucky you! You get to read GGG soon, I have to wait until it gets here *I live in Sweden*. Damn.  Moving on to office romances: I don't really know if they are forbidden… if it is forbidden, then what do people do if they start up family businesses? I really don't know…but I'm glad you're able to allow me some, uh, Artistic License!*laughs at self for ever implying to be an artist when all she does is steal people's characters* 

**starzstuck-1:** *chuckles* u make me happy! 

**Hot Cuttie:** u happy me happy too! I thank you very much for feeding my ego that way! But don't worry, I'll only say that I'm a genius to my sister (I love to annoy her).

**Hurt Before**

**_*Hurt Before*_**

*Yeah we've all been hurt before

So you're not alone

No, you're not alone*

The staff of the Diamond and Shields Company were shocked speechless when Serena's matter was exposed on the meeting. Their glances raced from Darien to Serena to Damon. And if the matter were not so dead serious, one could laugh out loud at their faces. But no one could do that, Damon was pale as a ghost, hating to admit that Darien was right, that he should have left that witch alone. Serena blushed, she really found it uncomfortable to tell the whole company of her personal dealings, but she knew that she had to, to keep her own job, and to ensure that none of this would ever be repeated. Darien's face was dark with anger, he's feelings were bubbling up, and all that could cool them was some sweet revenge. Everyone else were just blank, there is no way to describe a person when s/he finds out that their role model employer is a complete jerk.

"So, the big bad wolf turned out to be innocent," Andrew finally managed to say sarcastically, trying to ease of the tension in the room, and to bring the others out of their state of shock. 

"And we find out that the wolf is in a sheep's clothing," Rei added, not long after. 

"Like that's news," Trista uttered with scorn dripping from her mouth, and Mina watched Diamond wince. 

There was a long pause, and at last Michelle spoke up, quite angrily: 

"How dare you? You ****ing bastard! We are all trying to keep the high profile that this company deserves to have, and you go and do things of that calibre? What are you, insane? Everyone here works their asses off, and you spend your time trying to seduce poor innocent employees, as if you don't work to do? Do you need mental help? Because I will immediately call a rehab and make sure that you get checked in!" 

Then she turned to glance around the table, addressing everyone, "This behaviour is unacceptable! *I* would give you a week to hand in your resignation letter, Damon, and I hope that everyone joins me in asking you to leave."

There was silence, and it became clear to Darien that Michelle really had no compassion to spare, not even to her brother. 

"Um," the ever logical Amy interrupted, "You might want to rethink your decision, Michelle, not because I side with Damon, but unless there is some one willing to replace him we don't have a choice but to keep him in and hush up this business," she uttered quietly. Then she turned to Serena, with a sympathetic glance, "I hate to be the one uttering this." She watched Serena give a friendly smile. 

There was silence again. Trista and Mina were designers; they had work up to their necks, and did not need more. Michelle did not have the experience; she was just a lawyer after all. Rei, Lita, Amara, Amy, Serena and the rest of the staff did not have the qualifications… well, with the exception of Darien and Andrew. 

Andrew tried to hide his happy grin, but Mina caught it, and under the table, she squeezed her husband's leg gently, giving him courage. Ever since he was young, it had been his dream to become the president of Diamond and Shields; he was convinced that he'd do a better job than Damon. And honestly, everyone in the Shields family would agree with him, but he never got the chance because he was the younger son. Now was his chance, but that's were Mr. Dilemma barged in. He couldn't just betray his own brother could he? Then he thought that it was his own sister that suggested Damon's resignation in the first place… But every one knew that Michelle's heart was as icy as her hair colour! Then he felt support from his wife, and he looked up to Darien uncertainly. 

Darien gave him a "you go" look, as he really didn't want to take on the role of president, he was not a man who could handle extreme amounts of work, and still come home at a reasonable time. And if things went well with Serena, he'd probably be married in the course of some months, and then he'd really not want work to interfere with the happy big family life that he was planning on creating.

"I'm willing to replace Damon," Andrew said at last, trying hard to suppress his happy grin. 

Damon starred at him with disbelief and anger, while Michelle, Amara, and Rei, being the cold hearted witches that everyone though they were, casually laughed. Everyone else sighed at their own tempo and strength with relief, and Amy looked pleased, as no one would remember her as the evil person who got Damon to stay in after such a scandalous incident. 

"Well, then," Trista concluded looking hard at Damon, "You have a week to hand in your resignation letter, or we're afraid we'll have to fire you." 

Soon the meeting moved on to other issues, and Damon barely said a word. He was stunned, and angry. But he understood that he had dug his own grave, so to speak. In reality, he didn't really care, as for him having a job was just like a hobby, as he already had all the money in the world to live on just by owning the stocks of the company. Besides, there wasn't really much he had to say. 

It was Monday again, and the new secretary brought the pile to papers from the Presidents office to Trista's office. Later that day, Trista finally sat by her desk, after having been running around after models and materials and drawings, to do the bureaucratic side of her job. She looked through the papers in a disinterested manner, until she came across a curious bunt of stapled papers. Eagerly she started to read the report. Its contests turned out to be very surprising indeed, as she figured that it was not about her, but about Damon. To sum up the report: it basically stated that Damon had a problem with commitment much to due to the fact that he was still stuck in the past when it came to the issue of Trista, which was why Serena suggested that he should set up a meeting with Trista to talk, and say all that he told Serena on their sessions.

What Damon had told Serena in their sessions was not clarified in the report, so Trista was very curious. She also wondered why Damon put this along with *her* papers. She came to the conclusion that perhaps he did not have the courage to talk to her after all that has happened (she forgot that the report was dated as of many days before Friday). So she went over to his office to talk. 

"You wanted to talk?" she started coming in with the report. 

"Sorry?" Damon looked up from his work, "About what?" 

"You tell me, after all it was you sent that stupid report," she replied annoyed. 

"A report?" he questioned, "I don't know what you're talking about." 

"Of all the mental illnesses that you may have, I think that Serena probably forgot to mention that you're senile as well," she yelled, obviously angry at his nerve. "I'm talking about this, you dolt," she said shoving the papers in his face, "Why did you put it in my papers, if your intention was not to talk? So I could pity you? Well, let me tell you this, I don't pity you! I never have, and never will!" 

"Oh, this! I was wondering where I put it," he tried sweat-dropping, then he quickly wondered what the report might contain. "What does it say about me?"

"I suggest you read it yourself, Slime-ball," she snapped and walked out, annoyed at the fact that she wasted a good half hour on him again, just so he could spite her… again. 

Inside the office Damon immediately let go whatever he was doing to read the report, wanting to know what Serena had written. He figured that whatever it was, it had to be pretty serious for Trista to come over and actually want to talk to him. He remembered that he had not seen Trista in his office even when the company was about to hit the rocks eight months ago, so what could possibly be more serious than that.

When he finished reading it, he could understand why Trista was so concerned. So, she wasn't a cold hearted woman that totally hated him after all, if she was willing to hear him out. Then he suddenly felt that it was urgent from him to tell her everything at once. And so he left his office running like a mad man trying to find her. When he finally caught up with her, she was about to leave, so he decided to just come by her apartment later in the evening. 

And he did, with a bottle of wine of a good vintage. They had a long tête-à-tête, where Damon did most of the talking, repeating all that he had poured on Serena before Christmas. He observed, as he got further into his tale, that Trista's steel face grew softer by the minute, and by the end of it, she was looking down with a guilty expression. 

"But, of course, I'm the one to blame," Damon said at last soothingly, "I should have not cheated on you. I know that it's too late to ask you to come back, so I'll just have to deal with it." 

"No it's not…" Trista whispered.

"Huh?"

"It's not too late, Damon, I can change, you know," she looked at him with tears in the eyes. 

"You can't take be back!" he protested, "Not after that scandal… what will everyone say about you?" 

"I don't care! If you love me and promise not to be unfaithful again, I will want you to come back to me… I love you." 

Damon took a hold of her hand, "You deserve better, but if you really want be to come back, I will gladly obey you. And I promise not to be unfaithful, and I'll take Hotaru to school, clean the house, cook, and the whole nine yards." 

Trista smiled, moving closer to him. "And I promise to come home early, and drive to pick nicks every weekend, and I'll tell you how much I love you and kiss you passionately when ever I see you," she replied laughingly, kissing him. 

So, the months passed, while Darien's and Serena's love bloomed and Trista's and Damon's regained momentum. It's worth mentioning that Damon became quite the homemaker, and was quite happy with his role, as Trista became a more loving woman. Darien and Serena's relationship took a rockier path, as they did not know each other as well at Damon and Trista (they were childhood friends, as you no doubt know) did. Serena was definitely the more understanding person in their relationship, but Darien was more dependent on her, even when his mood took a turn to the worse and he became the rude old jerk for a day or two. Yet, Serena would not change anything about him; she thought he was perfect, as she was well aware that love wasn't a walk in the park, but a challenge.

Soon it was her birthday, it was late in the evening and she was home alone, with the lights down, feeling sad. Every one remembered it, even the people in the US, except the person that she was living with! And to add to her loneliness, he decided to be in his foul humour and to come home late. So, she felt that she had the right to feel the way she was feeling. 

At around ten in the evening, the man himself made his entrance, gritting and growling, complaining about not finding food in the kitchen. 

"What am I? Your maid?" she shouted at him angrily. 

He didn't answer. "Why aren't you in bed already?" he continued to growl. 

"Do you have a problem with my not being there?" 

He ignored her and went to drop off his briefcase in their room, and when he came back he answered her, "Yes, I have! You're occupying my seat, and I want to watch the news without being bothered."

"I won't move… why do you have to be so mean? Why today of all days?" she said and burst out crying. "It's not fair…you're just a selfish brat, who doesn't give a damn about anyone else's feelings, no matter how dear the person is to you."

"Will you quit with your shrink talk," he remarked, removing her from his chair, carrying her into the bedroom, putting her down on her side of the bed, half carelessly. "Say, why are you with me, if you think I'm all that you mentioned previously?" he continued coldly. 

"I know what you want me to say, and I won't say it today, Darien. I'm not going to console you today; I do it every time you're down, the least you could do is try to comfort me on the one day that means most to me. It's not fair…" she uttered hiding her face on her pillow. 

Darien knelt down by the bed, in the dark room, where the only light was the waning moon that peeked in on them through the windows. Serena couldn't see him, and wondered why he was still there, and she yelled that he should leave her alone and go and watch his news now. But he remained there. 

"Say, do you think you could marry a person like me?" he questioned after a while. 

"I told you that I'm not going to console you this time, so you may as well go and watch your frigging news," she yelled. 

"Seriously now, Serena, would you actually marry a selfish brat like me?" he pressed. She didn't answer. "It's a serious question, so I'd like an answer, please," he said in his cold voice.

There was a pause again, and Serena burrowed her head further into the pillow to stop her tears. It wasn't fair… "Yes," she said in a muffled voice. What did she see in that piece of foul humoured piece of matter? She didn't know, really, but she did love him, even when he was in a bad mood. She could always cheer him up when he was down. And when he was his normal self, he was so loving and caring. And it wasn't as if he slipped into a bad mood very often, but that today it was just a heck of a bad timing. 

"Do you really mean that?" he continued. 

"Yes!" she said annoyed facing to where she though he was, "What is your problem? Can't you leave me alone when you fail to celebrate my birthday? Must you continue to hurt me by making be admit something that I don't want to admit at the moment? You're truly cruel to degrade me so! I'm not your slave, you know! I'm supposed to be your girlfriend if you haven't noticed, and on one's girlfriend's birthday, one is usually nice you her… but you wouldn't know that, would you?"

He reached a hand to caress her back (not behind, but back) carefully, with affection. He whispered for her to sit up, and had to repeat it over and over until she obeyed. Then he felt his way to her face, and dried her cheeks. 

"I had to be moody today," he whispered, "But I have a present for you." He reached for her hand and researched her fingers until he found the ring finger, then he reached for the ring in his pocket and slipped it into the finger.  "I wanted to be sure that you would not change your mind about marrying because on my mood changes…"  Then he found her lips and kissed her. 

"What if I said 'no' then?" she asked quietly. 

"I would probably end our relationship, and sulk for a few day, until I realised that I couldn't live without you,  then I'd come to you begging for you to marry me promising that I'd change," he answered between butterfly kisses that he  spread over her face. 

"It's unlucky for me that I didn't say 'no' then," she sighed.

"Don't worry, I will work hard to please you, I will not to 'be mean to you' as you put it," he assured, "And I'm not planning letting you spend the rest of your birthday in such a miserable way; so I'll make it all up to you. You should go and get dressed, we're going out tonight."

"Oh, Darien!" she squealed happily, forgetting that she was mad just a few moments ago. "Where are we going?" 

"Somewhere where there's ballroom music," he told her standing up, then helping her up too. He walked to turn on the lights, so that she might actually get dressed. That's when Serena came flying into his arms, and he had no choice (or rather, could not resist) but to hug her back. 

"How I love you for being able to make this the worst day of my life and then turn it all around make it the best day of my life," she exclaimed. 

"And I love you for being insane enough to want to marry the sadist person who dared to spoil the majority of your birthday," he said, and then he gave her a lengthy kiss.

"You know what?" she said much later, when they were ready to head out.

"What?" he uttered apprehensively, as he could see that evil grin she flashed at him. 

"I want our wedding day to be on your birthday," she told him. 

"You know how much I hate to celebrate my birthday, but I guess I owe you that much, don't I?" 

"Yes, you do!" Darien simply kissed her, accepting that sweet torture, and he knew that she wanted her sweet revenge for his bad deeds.

Needless to say they did marry on the third of August, and as fate would have it, their first child was born on Serena's birthday, the following year (AN: Seriously, it does seem as if I like to put Serena through pain, doesn't it? *grins*). And of course, they lived healthily (AN: yes I mean healthily) ever after, supporting each other through their ups and downs.

Finnis! 

That's it minna-chan! Now I will focus on Suppressed Feeling for while (well until it ends actually). It was awfully nice to have journeyed through this story with such great supporting and constructive reviewers. I am so obliged to you all!

Oh, and I will do one last of my pathetic advertisements: Pet Shop of Horrors! An insanely good manga is a balance of comic relief and the macabre! You will all love Count D, and feel sorry for Detective Orcot as he again and again fails to arrest our dear Count D. You will feel the angst in their love-hate relationship, and you will meet (to say the least) insanely strange people and pets! And since ff.net will censor away any kind of email address, I will not put the place were you can read more about it! *growl*…they did that to my Girl Got Game advertisement.


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